Saturday, December 26, 2009

Boyfriends & Jesus...

i heard this over a sermon & i find it pretty cool..
He said, "women tend to have a long list of how they want their "Perfect Man" to be!
For example, Blond Hair, Blue Eyes, Muscular & stuff... with that list, if Jesus were on earth right now,
she can't Date Jesus!! & if she can't date Jesus, THAT'S BAD!!"


haha.... pondering over that, this thought came to my mind... "WOW!!! Having Jesus as my DATE!!! 
OH WOW!!! a man who understands me even before there is a need for me to tell him,
a man who still loves me for the better or for the worse,
a man who will never break my heart!!
a man who will never leave me nor forsake me...
a man who will always be there waiting for me to come back home!!"


i mean, i've seen and heard of relationships that people enter in and comes out getting hurt!!
i've seen marriages ending up in divorce simply because there is misunderstanding in their relationships!!
i've also observed that people tend to wear a mask when their around people whom they love!! they are not being honest or transparent even among their own partner!!


i aint saying relationships with guys or gals on earth is ALL BAD!!! 
i know that even God himself said that it is never Good for a man to be alone & so he created Woman!!


but what i can't seem to understand is that why do people are always in the rush to enter into a relationship fast, in and out and get themselves hurt!!
isn't it worth while to just WAIT!!!
I mean, how AWESOME it is to let the whole world know that u've dated no one else except "HIM (My Mr.Right)" 
then the relationship is a SPECIAL ONE!!! 
if i've dated so many guys, then what will make my date with Mr.Right Special?? its the same as the rest of the dates i've been having!!! isn't it..??


i dunno who came out with all the craps that if u don't date any1 so far, than ur weird & stuff... =.=
who says that ur weird just because you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend now..??
that is all a TOTAL LIE!!!


whether agree or not..
im Glad to be the one who goes AGAINST THE  TIDE on this matter!!
I don't want to be something out of the ORDINARY, but wants to be something out of the EXTRAORDINARY!!!


My life path is not governed by what other people do around me, 
but its govern by WWJD (What Would Jesus Do)!!! 


Have a nice day people!! =)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Assuredly Yours...




All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ve found

Take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

by: Paradise Live

Christmas....

well, CHRISTMAS isn't CHRISTMAS till it happen in ur heart..
hmm.... i dun have the christmas spirit this year......
macam tak ada feeling saja....


well, was in church.! & today was the last christmas together with Christabel Chi Mei Fen & the whole fly.....
haiz, after today.... i'll be going to church & the whole Chi family will simply won't be there...


7 of years being together, & now we had to go our separate ways!!! On Christmas Day!!! Wat a Gift.... :-/ 


Thursday, December 24, 2009

From UTAR to HELP to UM

haha...........
when i told God, that im going to HELP..
it was like a voice telling me that i needed to be in UM (University Malaya)


I told God then, if He wants me to be there, MAKE A WAY!!!
coz im already in Foundation Programme.... 


im still amazed the way God works....
i mean whether i'll get accepted in UM is another matter...
but i mean... HE MADE A WAY THAT NOW FOUNDATION STUDENTS TOO CAN ENTER INTO PUBLIC UNIVERSITY...


here is how it began...
my church member's cousin was the one who came to my house & said that i can apply for that uni
coz she was a former student there... & now she's helping others to get in coz she has a few contacts that can help me....


then she called Mr. Maha (Head Of National Higher Education Bureau MIC) in front of me..
he asked for my CGPA & when she said wat it was, He juz said, "YUP! ask her to apply!!!"
then that sister said, because my CGPA is high, i shouldn't have any problem in getting in....


haha....
COOL RIGHT!!!!
i mean, i didn't even know that foundation student can enter into Public Uni's in the 1st place...
on top of that, that sister said, if u apply & u didn't get it, Contact me!!! i can Make Sure u get!!!! hahaha
Oh Boy!!!! Im Still Overwhelmed!!!! 


and for the past few weeks i was thinking bout how on earth am i going to finish paying the PTPTN LOAN if i enter into HELP coz the fees is so high.... & continue on going into BCM... I'll be a debtor even b4 i graduate.... i was complaining to God..... haha...


& wah lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!


If im accepted in UM, then almost quarter of the fees will be paid by the government & furthermore, the fees is not that high too... 


i need to apply in February, & their intake is in July, so till then, i think i'll work 1st.... better to work then to just stay at home doing nothing.... 


i'll only know if i got accepted in UM in june,  so till then...
i'll just save the money for BCM..... haha.........

the bible says,

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares theLORD,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future

i do have a plan of my own & still do....
but i am ready to flow where ever God lead me to
coz He's ways are beyond my thoughts...
and He always does what's BEST 4 ME... 


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Today was a great day...


well.... i organized a  children christmas party today...
was cutting some stuffs & also practicing my guitar till 3 am in the morning...


but it was all worth it...


40 children came!! 
8 Youths & 8 Adults came to assist...


this year, the children was very WILD!!! that i can tell... haha... 
they were so super HYPER that it was so difficult to get them to STOP TALKING!!
I literally had to threaten them with gifts to make them keep quiet...



but yea... THANK GOD!!! When i've realized that it was difficult to control them, I PRAY 2 GOD 4 WISDOM!!!
thats when the idea came... haha... and OH WELL!!! IT WORKED!!! Praise God.. =D

Friday, December 11, 2009

Facing the Giant...


watched the movie "Facing the Giant" today in church
some of the things that really caught my attention :
-----------------------------------------------------------------
God said 365 times do not fear in different occasions..
if God had said that many times, u know how important it is... 
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of life is letting go
the secret of love is letting it show
in all that i do
in all that i say
right here in this moment


the power of prayer is a humble cry
the power of change is in giving my life
and weighing it down, down at your feet 
right here in this moment
take my heart
take my soul
and all that is within me
i lift up to You & say
I'm your & Yours alone COMPLETELY


the struggle of life is the search for truth
the journey of faith is following You
every step of the Day, The Joy & The Pain
right here in this moment
take it all..
-------------------------------------------------
only God can open the doors that are shut
& only God can shut the door that is opened
------------------------------------------------


all that needs to be done is DO MY BEST
& LEAVE THE REST TO GOD... =D

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Psalm 91..

one of my favorite psalm besides Psalm 23 ^^
after my previous post, i've decided to go & read the bible... 
was feeling very guilty that i will only run back to God when i needed Him 4something...
& now that exam's near... haiz...
anyways...
was reading it & some of the verses that caught my attention...
1."He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High;
will rest in the shadow of the almighty "

3."SURELY he will save you from the fowler's snare
& from the deadly pestilence."
4."He will cover you with His feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be Your shield & rampart."
**thinking back i'de realized how foolish i've been..
i had this fear a few weeks back.. That something bad was going to happen to me. bad as in i was going to get kidnapped & raped..!
& that God was going to allow it to happen to draw me back to him.. I even had tiz strange dream   
SILLY RIGHT!!!! I KNOW!!!!!!(Didn't even realized it till i had a talk with Ps.Andy. )
reading that psalm reminded me of God's promise to me... That he will SURELY NOT LET NO HARM BEFALL ME... =)
besides  that..
14."BECAUSE HE LOVES ME says the Lord, I will rescue him;
i will protect him, for he acknowledges my name."
15."He will call upon me, & i will answer Him;
I will be with Him in trouble,
i will deliver him & honor him.
**that two verses reminded me that no matter how i have been b4,
Still call upon the name of the Lord, & He will come & help me...
i'd tried.. haha.. it worked!!! wat took me 3-5 hours to finish 1 chapter now only took 1 hour... =D
hehe.... Thank God 4 Helping me through...
reminds me Of this saying.. 


"When we are not Faithful to God, God is still Faithful;
& When we are Faithful to God, God will be More than Faithful..."


Let us not boast in anything but boast in Jesus Christ...
I AM SO PROUD TO CALL HIM MY FATHER... ^_^

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Dear God..

Don't give me too much that i may forget u..
Don't give me too little that i may despise u
Please give me juz enough that i will always depend on u..


Think i am straying away... Draw me back to u...


Don't walk in front of me that i may be left behind...
don't walk behind me that i may walk ahead of u leaving u behind...
but dear pa, walk beside me that i may walk through the journey of life together with u...


Don't want to be a hypocrite or a pagan...
juz want to be ur child that pleases u...  
Don't want to live my life pleasing men
juz want to live my life pleasing u...


Reading the bible everyday ain't easy for me...
can u do something about it...
what will make me to read it without failing...


i am aware that im drawing away from u further & further everyday as i don't read it...
Y am i so insensitive to the Holy Spirit's voice...
think i don't have the "Fear of God" in my life...

Do something Daddy...
Do something Mellissa...
MAKE A MOVE!!!



Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Things on my mind lately...

sigh... things on my mind lately...



  • Children church (Christmas party!! )
  • HELP (new place again... will i make new frenz?? need to apply for the next intake.. will i make it on time)
  • Final Exam (Psychology!! many things to memorize)
  • Youth Meetings
  • Jian Loong (they leaying to australia, won't be around for christmas.. Won't be fun... *sigh*)
  • Alfred (songleading wit him soon... all CHRISTMAS SONGS!!! =.= y can't it be normal songs...)
  • Mei Fen & fly(They gonna leave soon... Last month together wit her)
  • Santa Clause (who's going to be the santa clause for children party..)
  • Blogs.. (4 blogs to manage... what to write or update)
  • Guitar (i can't play any Christmas songs!!!)
  • My Spiritual Life.. (still struggling to read bible EVERYDAY)
** Well that's just me trying to express it all out so won't EXPLODE again...


i am 18 years old going on 19 next month...
alot of things in my mind!! alot of things in my hand...
alot of things i need to take in charge...
alot of things i need to get it done...


i am one person, can't do it all on my own...
but know God is still in charge over what i need to do...
i still know that in whatever i do,
I AINT GOING TO LET IT STEAL MY JOY AWAY IN DOING IT 4 GOD!!!


whateva we do, we need to do it 4 God... & we'll see how mightily God works..... =D
many things are waiting for me Ahead in my Life... Can't wait to see all the wonders & miracles that is about to happen...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It was a meeting worth going....

Last saturday i went to Local Youth Prayer Gathering (LYPG) Meeting in FGA Selayang...
to be honest, didn't feel like going at first.. tought wanted to just stay home & rest since i was not feeling that well...

but then my Youth Leader was a little dissapointed of having to go there alone.. hehe... so yeah... dicided to accompany him.. What is a Assistant Youth Leader if im not there for him right,... lol..

And Gosh...! what a meeting it turned out to be... the speaker asked all those who have a burden in their hearts NOW! to come to the center of the circle... & YES I went in too... didn't know what was that weird feeling i was having in my heart but wasn't trying to figure it out... juz stepped out in faith beliving it was the Holy Spirit's work...

the moment i went to the center... Tears began to flow down my cheeks... Didn't know y i was crying either... Began to speak in tongue, & then my body began to shake Vibrantly... I  couldn't control it as usual... so juz continues to speak in tongue... MY Sis Michelle came by my side to hold on to me... 

the Entire time every1 was CRYING SCREAMING &  PRAYING.... the term used here is "TRAVAILING"(at least that's what the speaker said)

haha... i had a fun time & was so gald i decided to go for that meeting, eventhough my Body ached for the next two days... haha..... See how Pysicaly Fit i am... =D haha...
but yup yup... am so glad i went, if not i would have missed it!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dear Mellissa...


Sometimes when u want to do something for God...

It means u'll have to go against the tide..
U'll have to do things that other people wouldn't want to do...
It means flowing or swimming totally in a different direction others r swimming 


It means doing somethings u might not be comfortable with...

  • U may be quiet, but sometimes u'll have to Speak Up 4 God... U R His Voice!
  • U may be small, but sometimes u'll have to Act Big... A Great & Big God is Living inside if u! 
  • U may be comfortable in where u are, but sometimes u'll have to Come Out Of Your Comfort Zone... u'll need to find where God wants u to be!
  • U may be happy with what ur doing, but sometimes u just have to Stop, Seek & Find what God wants u to do... U'll be even more happier & be amazed how God works through ya!
Dear gal, 
there are many things that this world have, & can offer you,
Wealth... Love... Entertainment...
but none of it will last...
none of it can grant u the satisfaction that u are longing for...



u need to get Ur Priorities Straight, Ur Standards Up & Hold on to it...
No Worries.........
Ur not on this alone.... :)


Friday, November 13, 2009

what a short little prayer can do....

This morning as i was on my way to college,
i remembered saying tiz short prayer without any wants or purpose in mind..
i said, "Lord, let this day bring Glory & Honor 2Ur name..."


my 1st class...: Psychology Tutorial.. Received my midterm marks... 39/40..(not bad eh, but for this subject i expected to score full mark.. Psychology is my subject ma... have to score full... nevertheless, Still praise God.)


Next was Maths for Business & Social Science ... din't expect 2get the marks so fast since we only sat for the  paper yesterday.... & my Marks... 40/40... haha.... can believe it..?? the subject i feared the most & the one that inflicts the most stress, & it turns out to be the one where i can score the PERFECT SCORE!!!


haha... God is great & He works in Awesome ways...
He sometimes choose to make things work differently 4us, Juz to show us that God is in control... 
& we are to live our lives dependent on Him....


Besides, God's ways are BEYOND our THOUGHTS!!!
it feels good to see how God works in my life.. =D


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dear Abba...


I wanna Sit at Your Feet
Drink from the cup in Your Hand
Lay Back against You & Breath...
Feel Your Heartbeat...


This Love is so deep..
It's More than i can stand...
I'll melt in your Peace
It's overwhelming...


how much i want to Papa.....

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Talked enough. time 2 STOP & LISTEN

Remember i said i didn't want to tak to any1, juz wanna be to myself...
well. I FAILED!!!
I conveyed my thoughts & how i felt 2 my mum, & ended up me EXPLODING 2 her...
and as a result, it made me cry the whole day, Morning, Afternoon, & Night
the issue just went on & on without any fullstop or solution.. 


i shouldn't have told her my feelings...
should have kept it all in my heart like i use to ever since i was a little gal....
should have juz depended on God to solve tiz problem like i use to ever since i was young...
should have juz controlled it...


wat is done is done!!


people say HURT IS NOT FROM GOD!!
well, THEY ARE WRONG...!!! from hurt, COMES HEALING!!!
now, 
JUST HAVE TO BE STILL & KNOW, THAT GOD IS IN TIZ PLACE


2 LET ME STAY AT REST IN HIS HOLINESS...


TO KNOW THAT HE IS MY GOD OF COMFORT....

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Tired of it all....

that's how i feel at the moment....
am fed up wit everything....
Tired of getting blame 4 everything...
Tired of listening to every1...
Tired of living to other people's expectations...
Tired of taking  concern too much on what other people thinks..
Tired of Fighting & Arguing 
Tired of that Maths that i have to learn that is inflicting a lot of stress


Feel like just doing what i want....
to stop hearing every1 talk...
to stop listening to them & to stop talking to them either...


Feel like want to just drive away somewhere & just keep on going...
Feel like going to a place where no one will be around; where there will only be PEACE & QUIET!!!


**Mellissa Lina is tired of everything at the moment, knows that when she talks about it, she will EXPLODE!!! 

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Did i tell u....

haha...
Thursday Morning, around 7.30am, i was waiting 4 my dad Opposite Collusium;for him to send me to UTAR...
as i was waiting there alone, thiz guy with Long, Gray Curly Hair was walking towards me...


u know me, i'll always guard my bag & stay alert if any1 passes by...
as i was juz standing there, thiz PSYCHO GUY came near me, lifted up his hand, almost wanted to punch me...
Oh Man!!! His hand was so close to my face man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


but then he STOPPED!!
TURNED !!
Continued Walking &Talking to himself again....


I tell U, MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT A MOMENT....1st time such encounter...
Dunno wat Triggered Him to want to come & punch me... & dunno wat made him to stop punching  me either...


maybe like wat Alison said,  
MAYBE HE SAW AN ANGEL STANDING BESIDE ME 
Or maybe, HE SAW JESUS hIMSELF STANDING IN FRONT OF ME & WARNING HIM TO STAY AWAY....!!! haha.... :D


but seriously, which crazy guy will come all the way to punch but don't punch... IT WAS GOD'S PROTECTION INDEED....


wat a coincidence right, School Leaver Service (SLS) was going to take place that day too... PHEW... Thank God Thank God....


Indeed God will prepare a table b4 me, 
In the presence of my enemies.... - Psalm 23
He will never Leave me nor FORSAKE me... -  Joshua 1:5


it was my 1st encounter wit a CRAZY GUY, i will be meeting more in the future soon.... haha... No regret taking up PSYCHOLOGY.... haha


Sunday, November 01, 2009

It was Cool...

Recently went to an Awesome Camp...
it was a sleepover  in my X-School, St.Mary... Went there with my X-Secretary of CF...hehe
we went there at 11pm Friday Night, & came back at 10am the next day....
were there from 11am till 4am Fasting & Praying none stop for School Leaver Service (SLS)


IT WAS AN AWESOME EXPERIENCE
Student were prophesying to other students...
it was cool...


the conditions placed b4 we prophecy was that it should be 

  • Encouraging 
  • Exalting 
  • Comforting 
i tried too... & man it was cool! My 1st experience like such... 
i received 3 Encouragement from other 3 students too...
felt so Happy after what i've heard....



All in all, it was an Awesome & Memorable Sleep over...
Were Glad i decided to go.... =)




Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dear Abba...

Dear Abba....


Ku Mau Cinta U Selamanya....
Don't Give Up on me...
I can be a very naughty girl sometimes...
but still a girl who loves you with all my Heart...


looking forward so much to the day where i can meet u face to face...
waiting for the day i'll be broken & be equipped to do the things you have prepared me 4...


i may not be like other people,
not as good as others are,
not as big as them...


but Here I Am...
Everything I am i give it to you....


Take me, Break me, Mould me, Use me...


Dad... hope... i ain't juz an empty vessel that makes the most noise...
saying would do this & that for you but ends up not doing...


Help me to Hold on to wat i say..
i ain't a Hypocrite or a Pagan...
i am Your Daughter... 

Friday, October 09, 2009

Time 2 Testify... =D


My 2nd Semester Examination Result was released yesterday...
my result, with a GPA of 3.66, CGPA of 3.69... =D 


2 be honest, i was a little disappointed at 1st, but then realized & came to my sense again... haha..
it's not bad!! 


God never failed to show me His Unfailing Favour & Mercy on me....
without Him, i wouldn't have gotten even that.... haha...
yup yup... Praise God indeed...


Praise God 4 answering my prayer... 
Praise God 4 giving me GREAT RESULTS... 
Praise God 4 being ever so faithful even when sometimes i fail... 


I serve a God who is Almighty, Faithful & Loving...
Let the Heaven's rejoice & the Earth be glad....=D


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Word Of God Speak...


I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say


Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak


I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice


Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak


I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay...



Monday, October 05, 2009

Ashame of my reactions...


In my previous post, i said i was scared 2 death...
What could i have done
i am too small
i couldn't have overcome any1.
i was trembling with fear
my hands & legs were shivering...


Pondering over it, it shows how foolish i have reacted..
at that brief moment
-I have forgotten that i serve a GREAT & MIGHTY GOD...
- I have forgotten that the One Who is GREATER than the one who is in the world is LIVING INSIDE OF ME
-I have forgotten that God will NEVER LEAVE ME nor FORSAKE ME...
-I have forgotten that God is always there 2 RESCUE ME from whatever i was going through...


i was so foolish to let MY OWN FEAR TO OVERWHELM ME...


Haih... Wondering How God would have felt at that moment, when i have totally forgotten about HIM BEING BY MY SIDE!!!!!

There's an experience i won't 4get... i was scared to death... =.=


u'll think im crazy, but it actually did happened...
i ate my breakfast, came inside my bro's room & closed the door...
as soon as i did, 5 seconds later, a big BANG!!!!  I heard it!!!!!!
at MY door!!!!! the door i just closed!!!!!!!


i quickly LOCKED IT & STOOD behind it!!!
my legs & hand started to SHIVER....!!


my grandma was sleeping in the other room, & another was sitting in the living room...


worst still, then i heard FAST FOOTSTEPS.... It sounded like many was walking in my living room...
impossible, my grandma can walk that fast.......... =.=


can u imagine how scared i would have felt..!! only 3 of us were in the house...
usually we would not lock our gates... we live all the way on the 14th floor in our condo... who would come all the way up here we thought..


i climbed up my bed... sent an online instant message to ALFRED... He was the only one online
i picked up my handphone, wanting to call my mum... my hand was shivering i tell you... was never scared like this b4........


im a girl, a small girl, i can never overcome any1...what can i do....???? 


i sat on the bed, started praying... asking God to protect the 3 of us, sending His warrior angels to come & guard us...


my mum called the security guards downstairs from her office...
2 of them came up, n checked on us... i never left the room the entire time... my grandma went and opened the door...


i looked down through the opening below the door... no footsteps, so then i left the room 2 check... GOSH!!!!!!!!! WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!


ALL THIS HAS 2 HAPPEN WHEN I FINALLY BEGAN 2 FAST AGAIN.....
my dad asks if im OKEY!!!! =.=


it was not like i was making all this up!!!!!!


I SERIOUSLY HEARD A BIG BANG AT MY DOOR!!! IM NOT KIDDING!!!!
ITS IMPOSSIBLE A WIND CAN HIT A DOOR LIKE THAT!!!! 
It wasn't my grandma, She was scolding me 4 scaring her while she was sleeping....
THEN WHO WAS IT!!!!!


no, there's no ghost in my house, if that's what u guys are thinking....
but yes.....didn't expect all these to happen during the time of  MY FASTING!!!!!!!!!!! 

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Let me flow like the river does 2 wherever He leads...


it juz donged on me...
i actually don't know what's my passion is....


Sis Penny (My church's pastor's wife) was asking my sister what is her passion..
& she said, she has a passion 4 young people.... she wants to learn up all she can & reach out to young people.. =)


then she asked me... What's My Passion... Do You have burden 4 anything or anyone...
then i said.... NO!! all i know is i want to do something 4 God...


-- Now i Wonder--
so where am i heading to...?
i've seen many young people have such burning desire in them ...
another person i know of is CHI MEI FEN.. another person who has this FIRE to save as many souls as possible....


but to be honest... I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DESIRE 2 REACH OUT!!!  : [
ALL I KNOW, IS WANT 2 DO SOMETHING 4 GOD!!!


Gosh....
need to find my purpose in life soon...
coz i'm not getting any younger... 


i keep on telling God let me move faster...
i want 2 be on the GO 4 Him when im still young where i can give alot of my strength
if im older, my strength is limited...
need to give my all 2 Him


i don't want to be of those who regret later in d future about Can't Do More 4 God
i want to do all i can 4 God now while i still can....


but do what!!
what is my call!!


a scripture that comes to my mind at the moment :

He directs the heart of the Kings like a water cores wherever He pleases... =)