Looking Back

As i was looking back on my past and things i've achieved and struggled so far,
He was always there...

There were one point in my life, that i was frustrated that i could not hear or recognize the voice of God,
But now i can see that, He was speaking and leading me every step and all this years...

from the very time that i can remember, i.e. from 5-7 years old, up till now when i'm going to turn 21,
He's seal has always been there and i can confidently declare that it was all HIM!



Before i went through anything, Joy or Sorrow,
He warned me ahead of time...
and of all this, the best part was, THAT I HEARD HIM MYSELF...
not through other people, but Him speaking Directly to Me... ^_^

I'm Glad and at the same time, can't wait to see what awaits me in the future....

Jesus was always there to come to my rescue, and will always be there
And He can be there for you too... :)

Jesus is Lord over Saving Grace

Saving Grace is the name of my church by the way.... :)

My church has been facing it's own obstacles and struggles for the past two years....
But of the many things that had happened, one thing that i cannot tolerate is when one thinks that the church would not run without them....

What is the purpose of going to Church?
is it to prove to one another who i better then whom, or to simply go to Worship & Serve our King..,?

Who should be the center of attention of them all?
God himself or just mere people?

And of all things, when we give unto God, we should always remeber that, we are giving not for men to see, but as a sign of thankfullness and gratefullness for all the things that God has done for us...

i personally believe that church is never a place for competion, but rather a place where we come together as one body and one Heart to sing and give praise to our Lord's name...

And church is never build upon how rich the members are, but are bulit upon Jesus, OUR FIRM FOUNDATION... God sometimes uses the rich or the poor to help in expanding the church on earth, but at the end of the day, when all things fail, God can still provide for his Church with or without the help of people...

Just like in the scripture that says, when men fail to praise and worship God, He can make even the Rock to Cry out and sing prasies to His Name....

Likewise, Even if people are not there to provide, God can Provide SUPERNATUALLY....

Of all these years, i looked backed over my life, i can see that God was there in the mist of it all (in all the things i've faced). and He is and always will be there guiding and leading me through every step of the way...

When God is for us, Who then can be against us,
and if God has opened up the door for us, then who can ever shut the door that He has opened...

I serve a GREAT & WONDERFUL God....
Trust in the Lord with all Your heart,, and lean not in your own understanding...
in all your ways, you acknowledge Him, & He will make your paths straight... :)

YOU are the Reason

As I was doing my devotion, it STRUCK ME!

You are the reason of why I Breath today!

You are the reason of where I am today!

You are the reason WHY i am Here!

I am Here, Because of You!

First, You created my inmost being,

Then you gave me life

You knew me even before i was born

When i was still in my mother's womb

You are the reason, I want to serve!

I want to do well because of You!

So that Your Name can be glorified!

You are the reason, I shouldn't be afraid!

Cause You assured that I am Yours

My future is in Your Hand

& Now....,

You are the reason of why i want to CARE!

You are the reason of why i want to LOVE!

You are the reason of why i want to SHARE!

YOU ARE THE REASON FOR MY VERY EXISTENCE DEAR LORD

& I WANT IT TO REMAIN LIKE SUCH ALWAYS!

YOU ARE MY REASON FOR LIVING

Shelter- Home for Children

That will be my "working place" for the next few weeks or months
i have volunteered to help out in this shelter starting 15th August 2011.... (any1 wants to follow? haha)
mostly tutors are needed, but i've also agreed to teach musical instrument to the children there...

i guess it is time for me to reach out! to go beyond my church's four walls...
to put into practice what i've learnt in church
& show God's love to all especially to these unfortunate children....


i guess the best part of it all is that it is a Christian shelter....
so i can openly talk about Christ! :)

Though have to admit,
it was a very very last minute decision

& i am a little afraid of being able to fit it!
but I WANT TO DO IT!
It's NOW or NEVER!

I HAVE TO LEARN!
I HAVE TO CARE!
I HAVE TO SPREAD THE LOVE!


Oh Lord, Please Help me..... help me to handle all these kids... i hope they will see YOU in me!
Grant me the patience and the wisdom i need... Teach & Guide me Dear Holy Spirit =)

Dear Papa,

You have been taking care of me since young..
You cared for me ever since i could remember...
all those times, when my mum use to tell me stories about You,
i've always imagined You as my HERO coming to my rescue...

Now, i don't need to imagine any longer Lord!
Cause YOU ARE MY HERO!
You've been there when i most needed You
and you were still there when i didn't

During all those crucial times,
You were there to catch me when i fall
to lift me up again when i'm down
There is no doubt that You are a GREAT GOD, Lord!

& i need you again Lord!
i've always needed you
now that the time is near...
take care of it Lord!
You promised me that You will...
& i chose to trust You...

Just as Abraham plainly followed you without knowing where, when or how,
i too choose to follow You Lord!
You said you'll take care....
now take care Lord...
your servant needs Your Help!
Your daughter is seeking Your face

I AM WAITING!
Come to my rescue Lord!
Come to my rescue like you've always did... 

A Pure heart will SEE God!

The BIBLE is God's Breathe,
& His Word will never return to Him VOID!

And plainly in His word, he states that the PURE HEART WILL SEE GOD! (Matthew 5:8)

it has always been and still is my dream to see God face to face! to experience His Presence! To sit on His lap and  hear His heartbeat! to hear Him Laugh! Hear His Voice! to see Him smile! to know His thoughts! and when he's Proud of me! wanting to Hug Him, knowing my hand won't be long enough to go around Him! ^_^

Don't expect anyone to understand! but I WANT TO SEE GOD! LITERALLY!!!
many already said to me that that's not what the scripture meant... but it doesn't really change my mind on what i want.... i mean, many had seen... though not all, SOME still DID!!! & i too want to be part of that SOME!! I WANT TO BE PART OF THAT SOME WHO SAW GOD!
JACOB SAW! MOSES SAW! & I WANT TO TOO!

Hence, My AIM: Pursue a PURE HEART!

However, When i've first started these blog, i asked the question, WHO AM I?
& now i have the answer,
-i am MY FATHER'S CHILD!
-i am NOTHING WITHOUT MY DAD!
-i am HIS SERVANT WHO WANTS TO LIVE MY LIFE FOR HIM, MY KING!

It's no longer a new news that i've completely devoted my life for Him and i want to flow wherever He leads me!

In everything i do, I want His name to be made known, & His name to be glorified...
for Lives to b touched and His name to be Exalted High above the Earth!
for others to experience the same goodness that i've experienced through my Journey With God!

STILL ...

i know i am not completely ready! You know y?
BECAUSE I AM STILL SELFISH!
just like my Father is a Jealous God, i too Get Jealous!
I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE SOME1 BEING CLOSER TO GOD THEN ME!

imagine these...
My God standing in the center surrounded by many of his children who has the desire to want more of Him too...
n i am somewhere among the crowd trying to reach out for HIM too!
i know that the Bible says that His Grace is SUFFICIENT FOR ALL!
BUT UP TILL NOW....
I HAVN'T GOT ENOUGH OF HIM....
I HAVN'T GONE TO THE POINT TO SAY 'so much i can't contain! so much i have to give it away'

Coz i still want more of His PRESENCE IN MY LIFE
i still want more of His LOVE IN MY LIFE
i still want to SERVE HIM MORE!

haha....

that was my answer to one who approached me n said 'you must start caring for others'

Thinking about it now.....
i can't be like that!

cause there will never come a time where we can say ENOUGH GOD!
there will never come a time where i can experience God fully that i put a full stop to it!
His ways, thoughts, n love r always beyond what out mind and hearts can comprehend!
there can never b words Good enough to say or express HOW MUCH HE LOVES US!

My sister was saying to me once
God always GIVE! GIVE! GIVE! & He FORGIVES...
But you always GET! GET! GET! & u FORGET!

Just experiencing His Goodness is not enough but we need to give and show the same to others...
cause He simply commanded to give water to the thirsty, food to the hungry, & clothes to the needy!
NOT
give water to the thirsty once you drank, food to the hungry once you ate or even clothe the needy after covering yourself!

The same love he showed me, I need to show others... I didn't deserve it, yet HE GAVE! & hence I too must GIVE because i want to FOLLOW MY FATHER'S FOOTSTEP!

Little by Little Everyday!

I Guess after a long long time,
It's safe to say THAT I'M BACK AGAIN!
there had been lotz taking place in my life.... Both Spiritually & Mentally

a lot of issues & conflicts that i needed to resolve that was battling against me...
a lot of decisions the i needed to make
& lots of 'Rising Up to the Occasion' situation took place in my life!

I Thank God, that in the mist of all these mess in my Life, God has always been there n will always be there FOR ME!

One thing i would like to share with u as to what i've learnt thru my journey is these:-
Our dear Papa, has given both you and me the Gift of the Holy Spirit!
& He is always there giving us the guidance that we seek & need,
However, if we choose to ignore his voice & do our own things, Little by little His voice will get softer and soon dissapear of your life.
But if we choose to Listen & Obey His voice, We will hear Him much clearer n closer to our life Little by Little Everyday...!

I'm truly amazed of all the wonderful things God has been teaching in my life & how miraculously he had given me the Wisdom & the Understanding to many which i never thought i knew.

My prayer now for you and for all the people i know is that HE will grant u all the same guidance n assurance that he has grant me!

If you want me to give you a Guarantee of one person who'll never Forsake you or Leave you, then my definite answer will be MY LORD JESUS CHRIST!

The ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO'LL NEVER LET GO OF MY HAND!
& He wants to do the same for YOU too!
Because He loves us ALL the same!

Thoughts for Good Friday

Every year as i remember the day My God was slaughtered for my sake
The thoughts were never the same

This year I thank thee my Lord, for the sacrifice You made
For Your willingness to die for me, a worthless servant
For Your willingness to take those hitting and shame, which should have been mine

To think that You were on the cross FOR ME!
Makes me think,
Y SHOULD YOU...?
Y WOULD YOU...?
It's not worth it... its just me...
a sinner who keeps falling back to her old ways...
a worthless servant which don't deserve the kind of love You're showing her

Still...
You did it...

Still...
You were hanging on the cross for me...

Still...
You chose to receive all those pain and humiliation for my sake...

Still...
when you were in pain & while You were hanging on the cross,
You thought of me...

*hugs*

Though Your servant knows that she is not worth of thy Love
But from the bottom of my hearts, I THANK THEE
i thank Thee for thy sacrifice

For without what You did for me,
I would't have had a special friend like You whom i can call 'ABBA FATHER'


For without what You did for me,
I wouldn't have had You by my side always... to whom i can always have Hope & i can hold on too..


Your servant praise Thee O God,
For You alone deserve it...
For You are such a Great God who loves Your creation Unfailingly & Unconditionally....

In Awe...

Praise God for how fast He answered my prayer...
We had a 'Dream Weekend' in church on Sunday where my pastor spoke about OUR DREAM!
we were asked to fill in the form & insert in a "dream box"

as i began to ask God what is my dream,
one of the things i wrote down was..
To be listed as one of the Top Students in the Psychology department in HELP College!

True enough, within weeks, i was listed as among the TOP STUDENTS!
received an e-mail from my department where they stated that the Dean, Dr. Goh, wanted to meet all the top students in Psychology Department.
AM TRULY IN AWE ON HOW FAST GOD HEARD THE PRAYER...

All GLORY, PRAISE & HONOUR Belongs To God & Him Alone...  

Its Sunday Again... =D

Yup! its Sunday again
& am very excited to see what God is going to do in our church today!
Every week, when Sunday comes... I just feel so happy...
to go in His presence where everyone comes, JUST TO SEEK HIS FACE! Where GOD IS THE ONLY KING!!
God is moving in our Church... And how much i long to be in part of His move!!

today is a special Sunday...
haha... for the very first time, my Music Team will ALL be joining forces in prayer too before we start our service!
If God had been moving b4, imagine how much it will be from now on when more people pray...
 haha... well, I'm all geared up! & Waiting!

My Psalm

O lord, My God
I thank Thee for giving Thy servant the privilege to call You Abba Father
I thank Thee for Thy Faithfulness & for Thy patience towards me & my unfaithful actions
Sometimes, Thy servant think that it's just best if You just punish me!

But nevertheless, i speak the truth in saying, "i will be terrified if Your wrath really do fall upon me."
i'm very afraid to see You being angry at ME!
Being in a position where Your wrath falls upon me, is the most scariest scenario that can ever happen to me!
Seeing You or imagining You being angry towards me, don't think my heart can take it God.

You are one person whom i've really imagine who really loves me no matter what!
so if i don't get that love from You, Im nothing Lord. I'll feel empty! I'll feel Lost! i am worthless without You!

Daddy,
No matter what, as the day begins and ends
as i grow from young to old
till i turn from bad to good
from who i am now till i become who you want me to be

Please don't give up on me
Please don't let go of my hand
Please don't pass me by

The Israelites wonder in the wilderness for 40 years as Your wrath falled on them
But lord I'm half way there! and i don't want to respond in the same way!
Don'r ask me why i 4get You in my busiest moments!
Forgive me that i seek You only when i need You!
Forgive me when i say i'll change, but keep falling back to my old ways!

But Lord, Never give up on me!
I'm on Your side!
Don;t reject me!
Don't ignore me!
I long to b in part of Your plans!

Don't let go of my hands!
Don't let go even if i did let go!
Please Hold me tight!
I need You by my side
If You go against me!
I'm dead!
I'm worst than dead!
if You let me go, the enemy will surround me, break me to pieces and crush me!

You are my strength Lord
in my weakest moment, show that You are the strongest
Prove how great and mighty You are in a small person like me!

I can't remember how many times i've said that i'll surrender my life to You
But i somehow feel that i'm still holding on to it.!
Lord help me to completely let go!
to Run when You ask me to Run!
to Jump down the moment You ask to Jump!

Im just like a instrument lord!
if You don't take me and play me or tune me according to Your will,
i'm just gonna stay in one corner and collect dust!

I'm just like a sheep which is LOST!
If You don't come and look for me and carry me on Your shoulders back home,
I'll die waiting for You lord!
Im not gonna move anywhere till You ask me to move
I'll wait till You come and get me.

The secret of life

The secret of life, is letting go

The secret of love, is letting it show

In all that I do, in all that I say

Right here in this moment

The power of prayer, Is a humble cry

The power of change, Is in giving my life

And laying it down

Down at your feet

Right here in this moment

Take my heart

Take my soul

And all that is within me

Lift up to you and say

I am yours and yours alone

Completely

This journey of life, Is a searchful truth

This journey of faith, Is following you

Every step of the way, For the joy and the pain

Right here in this moment

Take my heart

Take my soul

I surrender everything to you alone

And all that is within me

Lift up to you and say

I am yours and yours alone

Completely