Semester ended... Lesson Learnt!

Final's done... Semester's over...
overall i am glad and satisfied with everything...
With the type of course i've chose..
with the things im learning and learnt so far...
with the college i've chosen...


am glad that the course i've chosen was one of God's Will 4 me...
and for that i have the inner peace coz im also on the Right track!!


learning psychology is fun!!
many things can be applied in my own life...
having the knowledge of why people do what they do is amazing... (it's like able to understand them without asking them y...)


But one of the things i've learnt and am longing to share is this....


Type of Attachment Style with their caregiver during infant & how it has the impact on an individual's relationship life in the future...


All in all there are 3 Attachment Style:

• Avoidant Attachment Style- With Distant & Aloof Caregiver
• Anxious or Ambivalent Attachment Style- With Inconsistent &Overbearing Caregiver
• Secure Attachment Style- Responsive & Caring Caregiver

so any individual will fall in any of the three category depending on the type of relationship they had with their caregiver... but the best Attachment Style will be the secure attachment style coz that individual will grow up to be a confident individual who will venture into a relationship thinking that he/she is worthy and precious and should only deserve the BEST!!

However, i can't stop thinking that EVERYONE CAN FALL INTO THE 3RD CATEGORY!! Cause every1 do have a Responsive & Caring Caregiver which is no one else but JESUS himself.... it's all depending on how you look at it.... Whether agree or not, YES! JESUS DO CARE! & HE IS THE GREATEST CAREGIVER IN THE WORLD...!!

YOU did it again LORD!!!!! =D

My scholarship in HELP has been approved!!!!!!!!!
i am now eligible for 'HELP INSTITUTE SCHOLARSHIP - PARTIAL DISTINCTION AWARD' 

Even now God proved that it was HIM & not me!! (Reason being, i actually completed my essay 4 hours before the day i needed to pass up my form & also handed the scholarship form on the exact date line...didn't expect too much but simply committed it to God coz there's nothing much i can do...even before i applied for the scholarship, the HELP Officer actually said juz give it a try though there's not much HOPE for PSYCHOLOGY students... The standards is high it seems... & their very strict... ).


You see... EVEN THEN, GOD BRINGS HOPE!!!
& ALL WE GOTTO DO IS SIMPLY BELIEVE....


THANK YOU LORD!!!
Loving the way YOU are Working in my LIFE!!!
Never give up on me ya.... i only have  YOU!! 

This Whole week.... A "YAY" & A "SIGH"

Alot has been happening lately...

• Prayer & Santification Service!! (1ST TIME EVER IN Saving Grace!! And the presence of God was simply AWESOME!! I had the peace of God the whole time....)
• Daddy got hit with a MILD STROKE!! (Immediately a day after our fasting & prayer sanctification service!! (See how unsatisfied the enemy is) so at the moment still having a little difficulties to move his right leg & arm as normal as b4....

so whole week mum & dad was at home taking care of each other.... and i can't help much coz...

• Exam Stress...

& due to wat happened to dad, dunno which to concentrate on....
EXAM or DAD...??

Haiz........ my heart!!! is about to explode..! (Actually explode to so many people ady... lol)
Still above all, am counting on God.... Am Surrendering everything....
If i were to handle all this problems myself, I CAN'T!!!

juz seeing how differently my whole family reacted to this event were simply so amazing!! THANKS BE TO OUR GOD!!! We have grown to know that GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL... We all prayed, and all received the same answers.... HE WILL HANDLE IT... He will turn tiz situation around for Good!!

but Juz looking at my dad makes me cry...
so have to pretend that i dun care & divert my attention somewhere else....

Waiting for this cloud of trial to be shifted away from my family & i.....

And dear frenz.... if have any probs or wanna talk... i am NOT ur gal...
I am in my LOWEST of emotion at the moment...(need some time to unwind myself ) am trying not to go to anyone but GOD!!!
So till i return to my old self or will come out a total new person after this whole situation?
Is 4 U & I TO WAIT & SEE....

COZ I SURRENDER ALL!!!!!!!

Being Short...

Think i finally figured out something....

there is a positive way of looking at it...

Me being short, God reminded me tiz week that I should never look down on any1 but 

to look up to every1... there is always something that i can ,earn from every1...

As we watch the 10 Commandments (Part2) on friday during Youth Alive...

There was this part towards the end that it states...

"Moses was the only one who saw God face to face, Coz he was the most humblest man on earth..."

I have lotz to learn.. N being Humble is one of the thing...

Instead of looking down on every1, i should be looking up with the thought that even through them, God can teach me new things....

Maybe thatz y im short... even physically i am indirectly reminded that i should not look down on any1.... very seldom i see people who are shorter than me wat.... lol.... ^_^

God is Good... He never fails...

Yup, HE never FAILS..... doesn't matter when or what im going through...

He never fails to realize it! Never fail to send the people in to HELP me!

Never fail to wipe away my tears...

MY GOD IS SO GOOD...! ^_^

Though i needed some help, but not seek for it...

though i was lost not wanting to be found

He came looking for me, & made a way tht i be FOUND AGAIN!!

Even now i say, if u ever feel that no body cares, GOD CARES!

if u think ur lost, COME BE FOUND IN GOD!

Cause God aint going to let go of ur hand unless u do!

it happened to me, & it can happen to u too.... 

Going Crazy..........

Just the thought makes me go crazy.....

Am i aiming too high.... Would it end up in disappointment....??

Still, i can't let it go...I Simply can't!! I aim High, to fly High!!

i simply can't lower down my expectation on myself....

So wat is it going to take of me....?

I SIMPLY MUST DO IT....

Papa, i think ur child is about to go crazy... The class hvn't even started yet, & there's so much burden on me...so many thoughts that i may juz FAIL...!!

Will i make it in the End.?

Am i just pushing it too much...?

Please grant me Ur peace & assurance.... I NEED IT!!

I WANT TO DO IT...4 BOTH U & ME!!!

I have to do it Lord... HELP.......................

Friends.

Was talking to Mr. Gan the other day... & made me realize...
YES!! It's true!! This is wat i want....

I've always told myself this... 'I should be treating people the way i  would want them to treat me'
regardless of whether they've done the same to me.. I've owez tried my very best not to hurt them!
& be there 4 them the time they need a friend the most!

But u know... there are only up to a certain limit that is under my control... Despite how hard i've tried...
I can't seem to satisfy all!

the more i try not to get them hurt, it ends up in a way that im HURT DEEPLY!!!
the more i try not to make them sad, I GET DEPRESSED!

i guess, 1 of the things that make me sad the most is that people use me in the name of friendship!! haih... dun wanna talk too much bout it.... dwelling too much on sadness can only bring u more sadness!!!
come to think of it... i think im more in a "Nanny McPhee" situation.... When some1 need me, but don't want me, i'll be there 4 them... But when some1 want me, but no longer need me, I'll dissappear... 

but i was complaining to God regarding tiz matter... I Told Him, no matter how much i've intended everything for good... People still blame me! Hate me! or simply choose to Forget me!
and He showed me that im not the only one who went through it... HE DID TOO!!!

He came to earth coz he loved mankind!! was on earth teaching & guiding but still there were people who hated him till the extend that CRUCIFIED HIM!! Though Jesus came & died for all, there r still people who choose not to believe Him or love Him....

So..... Well, guess my hurt is not nearly painful to what He went through... But am glad that there is a some1 who really cares & understands exactly what im going through...

& if people still misunderstands me, SO BE IT!! Don't care oso ady.... Up to them if they want me or not... im not going to take any effort to try to clear those misunderstanding... as long as i know that im walking righteously b4 God, My conscious is clear!!

of all thing i go through... if i make at least 1 fren who cares about me the way i do 4 others... EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE JUZ SO WORTH IT!!!

& to all my frenz.... if there's anything u go through life, & u need a friend to talk to, IM STILL SAYING THAT i'll be there for u.... But whether u choose to come to me or not, IT's ENTIRELY UP TO U!!!

but just so u know, no one makes the BEST COUNSELOR except for JESUS Himself... & He too longs to share your problem... ONLY IF U LET HIM TOO... 

Im juz glad that u'll be by my side whenever im falling 

in the dead of night, whenever im calling

Your hands that r holding me, help me not to let go....

ur hands r holding on to mine.... DON'T LET GO DADDY!!!!!!

I'll choose to believe u....  
choose to trust in you
as i wait, & seek u 1st, 
Best things in life will come later on...

For me now... Nothing else matters... BUT U!!!!!!!! 

This is how i feel now...

...

After a long time.... Back to listening to music till 2am!!! haha...
Many problems are hunting me down... problems after problem...
haha... & MY COLLEGE HVN'T EVEN START YET!!! What more later on... haiz...


 But who cares rite!!! juz enjoy my moment till the max!!! No worries about the Future!! My future is in His HAND!!! 


So im juz gonna  and continue listening to my musicssssssssssssss....... 

14th July 2010

have always wondered y God wanted me to be born on these date!
Have so many question to ask Him about my birth date itself... wat more my other questions im waiting to ask Him face to face!


Tiz year were not in much of 'Celebrating My Birthday' mode!
When i opened my eyes that morning, decided to close it back coz IT WAS THE DAY!
Didn't want to go through my Birth Date today!
woke up with a sigh & eventually got off my bed thinking 'What would God think, seeing His own child being sad on her birthday!'
haha...... 


I guess this year I didn't had any reason to celebrate! or at least i couldn't think of any!
Am still in the Road to Figuring  Myself! To discover Who am i Yet to be!


Still.... Thank God 4 the day... though i didn't want to celebrate! We still did! thanks to my Family...
I was glad that i could be in THE HOUSE OF GOD during my BIRTHDAY!
went to Bible Study! & later went to McD all the way in Bangsar coz my parents saw me being so quiet!!
lol.... though din expect much, God still gave me much! 
Received a very B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L Gown from my mum! Can't wait to wear it & Show OFF with it... (hehe)
and some amount of $$ from my Dad!


hmm... but at the end of the day, Think i made my God a little sad Coz of my attitude towards His own Creation!
But keep telling myself! That im not saying tht God made a mistake! Its just that i need a reason to celebrate!
& He needs to show me more clearer Reasons Y i Need to Celebrate!!

Singing... =D

Jesus U R So Good
Jesus U R So so Good
There's nothing to fear coz im here in Your Presence
Jesus U R so Good
Jesus U R So so Good
I juz want to thank you with every beat of my heart....

Once we were CAT & DOG!!!!

2day was a hard yet a GREAT DAY!!!
since its public holz... 1 day of break, and we had to clean up the House... WITH MY BRO!!!!! =.=
Did i ever mention that my bro likes to keep the house CLEAN & SPOTLESS!!! =.=
Can be a great husband in the future  4 the future wife but right now, ITS TORTURING  4the four sisters!!!


We started off at 10am and ended the whole cleaning session at about 2PM!!! (He din allow us to take a break even) Imagine that, That boy can clean!!!


But......... hehe... here's the thing, HE DIN ALLOW ME to do much work like all my other sis... the rest were BULLIED TO THE MAX unlike ME!!! hehe.... even when i said i'll do, he juz gave me minor works to do... hehe... SOMETIMES IT FEELS GREAT 2B MY BRO's FAVORITE LITTLE SIS!!!! But of course, who wouldn't compare rite... the whole time, Grace was doing her cores, She was frequently asking bck my bro, ''What Job Did U give Mellissa??''  haha... but yea yea... i helped my bro too... Just that i din do as much as the rest.... haha... ^_^


Well, throughout the cleaning time, it brought me back to the old time... haha... ONCE HIM (My Bro) & I use to be CAT & DOG!!! we bought can fight man!!! he'll come after me to hit me & i'll run after him to hit him back with something in my hand... (something as in: Hanger, Belt, Stick, Broom even sometimes.... lol....) 
yea... WE WERE THAT BAD!!! hahaha..... Sometimes, he'll hit me sooo hard that i'll juz sit down there and cry till my dad will have to come to WHACK HIM!!! and as usual he'll run away & hide till everything cools down...hehe...


 BUT NOW!!!! IM HIS PET!!! haha.... & I LIKE IT!!!! i can get away with many things that my sis can't get away with... & i can make my bro laugh easily... hehe.... (Trust me, IT AINT EASY TO MAKE HIM LAUGH!! SOMETIMES my sis will end up getting scolding while trying to make him laugh...) =p


But today was good, i asked my bro to take us out 4 McD after we had cleaned up.... & he did, (JUST D 5 OF US!!!) But we couldn't eat there so we bought it back home....!! while the 4 ladies (My sis & i) were out shopping in Selayang Mall, my bro was resting peacefully in the car!!! for about 2 hours i think!!! hehe.....


Who knew my bro was such a patient man!!! haha... he din even blow up!!! he was just sitting there listenning to music... 
Guess he knew..., 
after a loooooooooooong day of cleaning, the gals only deserve to have fun!!!!
hahahahahaha....
Thank God for a good day....


But still, the day hvn't end yet... The whole Youth Group is going to Angeline's house to pay her a ''VISIT''!!! 
IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahaha........
Cn't wait!!!!!!!!!! =D

Falling...

Have tiz fren in my working place who said to me one day... ''Mellissa! kan bagus being single... tak payah worry bout apa apa.. juz enjoy life je..!,"
then a reply came from another friend of mine... "Tak best la... tak ada sesiapa yang akan tujuk kasih kepada kite..."


hahahahahahaha........
alrite.... listen up... i aint going to talk about how fun or cool having a partner will be!!
it might be! im not saying its not.... all i know is that right now THAT STUFF is NOT IMPORTANT!!! =p


as soon as the reply came from the other friend of mind... this image came into my mind...


young people nowadays r depending too much on their partner!!
They expect their boyfren of galfren to be around when certain things happen to them...


now.... IMAGINE THIS...


U r falling from the sky & u r afraid of how u r going to crash down.. n when u look down, u see ur boyfren/galfren looking up to u n stretching out his or her hand to catch u... & there u r, when u saw ur guy/gal standing there to catch ya, u feel safe! But right then when u r about to touch the ground, the guy/gal walk off...(y he/she walks off can be an entirely a different issue...) 
at that moment, can u imagine how u'll feel... There's NO ONE 2 CATCH U!!!
The person u have trusted so much has abandoned u at the very last minute!!!
BUT............
& at that moment when all hope is lost, U SEE URSELF LAYING SAFELY IN God's HAND!!!


THERE!!! Thatz the beauty part of this story...
i figured that young people nowadays (including me) is hoping & puting their trust on other people too much that they FORGET bout the ONLY PERSON whom we can ALWAYS TRUST TO CATCH US WHEN WE FALL!!!


nowadays, we loose hope or break down if we see our frenz walk off when we're feeling down!!
we cry (or at least me) saying no one understands me when THERE IS ALREADY SOME1 WHO UNDERSTANDS U & I MORE THAN WE UNDERSTAND OURSELVES!!!


We search for people to be there with us till the end but we 4GET bout the GOD who stands with us 4EVER!!


Hey, let ur look beyond the galfrenz/boyfrenz... as u fell like ur falling & r going to crash, look down & see that even if ur frenz can't be there 4 u... There is a God who will never even Blink HIS Eyes or take His eyes off u till u land safely in His Palm, so He can hide u under His Arms and keep u safe Once Again...


Simply Remember, that even if Men fail u, GOD WILL NEVA FAIL U!!! 


Have a nice people =)

I'm Back......

yup... Mell is back 4 blogging her life story after a long time.... ^_^
aha... well, 1st of all... I din get into Public University... In a sense i still Thank God Coz i really rather study in HELP than in UM.... (Juz wanted to try in UM coz i tot i heard from God...lol... want to know more about tiz side of story, TALK TO ME STRAIGHT LA K!!! Very looooooong if write here.... =p.)

well, now its official... im entering into HELP... Already making my preparation 4 the registration... How im going to pay of the course fee 4 the whole 3 years..?? LORD I LEAVE IT ENTIRELY TO U!!! =)

Next! My new HP!!! Sony Ericsson W580i!!! I bought it with my own earned $$$... juz b'coz of that fact, im very proud of myself.... haha....... (Credits to my Bro, LUKE! I followed his example.... He bought his very own 1st phone Nokia E73 with his own salary... i bought mine 2 weeks after he did... ^_^). im making a big deal of this is b'coz seeing my bro & myself buying tiz on our own gives me the confidence that we'll do the same when we buy our very 1st house in the future....=D

Work on the other hand... haha... Erm... i had this guy who was one year younger than me... but always like to come around my table to simply disturb & touch me.... =.= not only that, when it reaches lunch time... he comes by my table to sleep on the floor beside my table.... That is simply playing weird i know.... =.=  THAT'S Y HE HAD TO GO!!!!!!!!!! lol.... He quits the job due to over-stress... haha.... But i see it as God sending Him away so that he can't disturb His Daughter anymore.... hehe........


Recently Im reading this book called 'Eat the Cookie, But the Shoe!!!' A book that reminds me that i should be celebrating all my little progress & not always look at how far im left behind...
for it says:
I should do MY Very Best & Leave the rest to God!!! 
As long as im making Progress, God is pleased!!! =)

God is speaking to me in many different ways through this book.... 

i have this habit of always comparing myself with others & trying to meet up to their standard....

& thus i did the same in church... After the Chi family left, i guess i tried to be the next "Daniel Chi" (haha.... CRAZY!!! i know...) & simply b'coz of that, guess i was neva satisfied with how i played the guitar.... there was always this CONDEMNATION THAT I HAD PLACED UPON MYSELF....

i lost it for awhile of the real reason y i play the GUITAR 4....

at the moment.... i've came to a realization that i began to talk alot & think even more recently....
im going back in time to refresh back, how Marvelously & Wonderfully God has taken care of me & my family all this years...

as i look back... it reminds me... that i AM INDEED SERVING A GREAT & GOOD God....
& that im not holding on to Him but it is Him who is actually holding on to me.... =)


Thank You Papa 4 being faithful all this years..... 
Simply wish that u'll give me the chance to see U...
so i can talk to U, hug U & say Thank U & I LOVE U.... =)

In2 UR Hand I Commit again....

Feel like want to just lie against UR Chest & never wake up!!
Where else can i find such peace than to just be with U...
Im in Your hand Papa...
Watever Happens, Let it Happen!
Coz i know that ur still in control...


My heart is going Hard! Changing everyday! & have this feeling that im Drawing away from U
Don't let me too...U know me better than I know myself ! Even if i let Go, U please dun let GO!! Please draw me back & Hide me under ur Wings where i may Find Peace beyond all understanding...


Am i a Hypocrite? Do i not mean what i say...? Am i just All Words, But no Action...?
Haih Daddy... I dun want to be one of those who be very "Holy Holy" now but Backslide from u in the future...


I want to be one who goes on Hard & Strong 4U....
Please Grant me back my passion & desire 4U...
Nothing in this world matters when i have U...
Help me to live my days 4U
Help me not to forget U
Help me to talk to U consistently
Help me to read the bible everyday
Help me to be a Good Testimony at Home
Help me to be more like u everyday....
For without UR help, im HELPLESS

LYPG ~ 13th March 2010

Went to FGA Selayang today 4 Local Youth Prayer Gathering...
& B'coz i went, ALL my 3 Sisters had to follow me... (The Advantage of being the elder sister... lol... ^_^)
Had a great time today.... haha... liked it coz i was able to play the guitar & lead the worship there today....
It was at the very last minute that i was asked to songlead, but praise God everything went well despite the fact that i had to play without a PICK!!!
haha.... at the end of everything.. Realized i broke my nails for strumming so hard... haha....
 it felt Good to be among Young people & just be still before God & Speak in Tongues.... =)


At the moment, Mellissa Lina is very excited because she will be attending a Mission School in my uncle's church; Putera Aman Assembly ... From the 17th-21st of March 2010... ^.^ 
My uncle said, These speakers who's speaking in this Sessions, People have to pay thousands if they were to hear them in BCM.... But here, will only be paying RM25.... haha.... who would want to miss it!!!!
But most of all, i'm excited 4 the Revival Service that they r going to have during one of the night... yeah yeah....
i will be away from home, Staying in my uncle's house & will be travelling from there to work using 3 Different Transportation... haha....
Can't wait to hear what all those Speakers from US & NZ has to say to us....


But still, too bad i have to miss next week's LYPG since i will be still in Serdang....
Hence, Praise God that He Made Way 4 me to Attend this Course.... hehe....... =D

Compassionate 4 the Lost!

Last Night after work, went & visit my uncle who was admitted in Hospital...
Didn't actually thought that i would feel anything... But as i entered inside the Hospital's room...
saw my uncle lying there on the bed... as i saw him... i began to cry... my dad was there beside me looking towards him... i started praying, and tears began to flow down my cheek even more...
i hvn't been feeling this much of compassionate for a lost soul as this much...


as i saw my dad staring at him, I told him as i was wiping my tears off... i told my dad to pray & ask God not to take this uncle away without giving us the assurance that he will be with God in heaven....


Guess my dad knew i was being silly.... lol.... i mean, now that i think about it... i was acting like a little gal...
But haih.... as i was telling God, if my 1 prayer does make a difference for this uncle's salvation...
Then i'll be there praying & crying out for this uncle...
He suffered enough on earth.. He don't deserve to suffer eternally in Hell too...

The Trio's United Again...

Yup... After a looooong Time,,,,,,,,,,,,
All Three of us met again.... ^_^
Choy Siew May!! Alison Wok Li Jin!! & ME!! haha...


we 1st planned to go to Jusco to watch movie, but then SM wanted to go 4 sports day in SMK ST MARY, & she wanted us to accompany her too... lol... so Fine!! As much as i don't like to be under the Sun, I just decided to accompany her... Didn't want her to go alone do i... haha...


So after the Sports day, We made our journey to Jusco... Travelled in Bus Then Took a Cab from Selayang Mall... Grace came along of course... haha... then we mey Siew Hui Straight in Jusco....
We went Walking Around Jusco, into Popular (SM bought a Book), Sat down & talk... then entered in Jonny's Restaurant to have our lunch.... We ate & chat in there 4 a long time... Entered into the Restaurant at 2pm & came out about 4.15pm.... lol....


Siew May Never Changed!!! lol... She and her same old self... and always with her Jocks.... haha..........
Alie on the other hand is looking more & more like Adeline .... haha..... 
After eating, we went into a SHOE STORE! ^_^ Alie began to go and try out many of the shoes there.... lol...


After a while, we had to go... SM is songleading in her church today, So she had to get ready... Alie, Grace & I travelled back together to Selayang Mall... Alie then bought a swimming goggle & then hopped on the bus & went back home.... Later Grace & I hang around 4 about an hour there, then went to cut our hair.... haha... Yup!! I cut my hair again...lol... Think i look much better now...^_^


All in all, it was good get-together... We had a fun time sharing Experiences in College  & how God is Working & Moving in our Lives...
When i am among this group of friend... i Again Feel THANKFUL to God 4 letting them to be part of my life... Wonder how i would have ended up if i didn't mix around with them...


Maybe would have been the SAME OLD SHY, QUIET & TIMID GAL...
haha.... Thank God 4 a good day... =)

Work + Being Extraordinary

It has been a long time since i've updated my blog....
haha... till Juan had to tell me to update it... lol... well, at least it was good to know at least 1 person is reading my blog... if this blog makes a difference in 1 person's lives, I don't mind continuing it for that 1 person...


Thatz 1 of the reason why i like my job at the moment...
The floor im working in at the moment in Great Eastern Tower; all the temporary staffs works there...
They placed us in the 3rd floor coz there weren't enough place up there on the 4th floor for the 4 of us.... (This is not the reason why i like my job though)


The reason why i like tiz job now is because I can make a difference in this 3 other staff who works together with me... They are all 18 Years old, Finished SPM & Waiting for their result...


Let me tell u something about them... 
None of them are CHRISTIAN! Im the only ONE there...
All of them are involved in a RELATIONSHIP now...
& when i 1st began... ALL THEY'D TALKED ABOUT WAS ABOUT THEIR GALFRENZ & BOYFRENZ....


of course during the 1st week of work, i was complaining to God, For putting me among this type of people.. when i 1st began, i get frustrated when i see them talking about that all the time... i even wanted to plug in the EARPHONE in the computer & turn on the music to full BLAST!!!


aS wEEks WenT BY, I BEgan TO sEE WHy gOD wANTED me To Be Here...


I NEEDED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN TIZ YOUNG LIFES...
as weeks went by, I'VE OBSERVED ENOUGH!! I'VE LISTENED ENOUGH!! I BEGAN TO TALK!!!
SHARed wiTH THEM mY pRICipleS and StandinGS iN Life....


BelIEVe IT or Not, THese 3 18 year old; 2 girls & 1 Guy, they began to open up to me... telling me everything they've done in the past & even ask me for advise in relationships...


nowdays, WhENevER it Strikes 4 pm, they'll come over to my table & we'll begin to discuss...
So Far we've discussed about PORN! BOYS! GALS! PARENTS! RELATIONSHIPS! MY CHRISTIAN BELIEF! MUSICS! PUBS! =D 


One of the thing that has touched me the most is tiz... as we were talking about relationships & guys...
I was sharing with them about my standings and beliefs in life... 'That i wouldn't want to fall for any1... that i would want my guy to be special juz for me...(i mean, every gal would rather want a guy who never been in other relationships before. its like im the only one & will always be the only one for him...  if u can understand what i mean... haha...) & So i would want to be special for Him too!' thatz one of the reason why im not involved in any relationship at the moment btw.... Good Guys or Gals in life doesn't come to you Easily & Quickly.... IT REQUIRES TIME & PATIENCE!!


haha.... so as i was sharing tiz wit them... the guy there actually said... 'WOW!!! I Hope that i'll get a wife like you someday...' and the other girl said,'Wah, Im the total opposite of u... ur very good...' THERE!! AT THAT MOMENT!!! i knew that wat i said had an impact in their live!!


Eversince then, our discussion has never been the same.... This people will start a Discussion Topic, & would WANT TO KNOW my point of view on each matter... haha...


and as i speak to them... i've learnt to rely on God's Wisdom and for the Holy Spirit to Speak to them through me... everytime they'd ask me a question... i've learnt not to rush into giving them an answer, But 1st make a silent prayer within my heart to God to Lead me & guide me even as i speak...


IT WAS GOD WHO HELP ME TO GET THIS JOB!!
& NOW I KNOW Y!!


Michelle (My Sis) told this phrase once, & it glued on my mind ever since then...
That God will make a way that, even among the darkness, God will make 1 person to stand as a Shining Light among the Darkness... =)


YOU ROCK DAD!!!

Lately

Lately i have been getting very Angry...
over little little things, I'll Explode!
The way i talk back can only Stir up more anger!!


Hmm... am tired of everything all over again..!
am fed up with everyone and everything...
Don't feel like talking to anyone either...
just want to be to myself with Peace & Quiet around me....


Don't want to think too much!
Don't want to speak too much!
Just want to get my things done & THAT'S IT!!!


I'm Sorry if i didn't reply to any of your messages...
I'm sorry if i don't come online often to chat with you
as i said, juz want to be to myself lately...
Not in a position where i can Help u....
The way i am now, can only hurt you....