Friday, August 27, 2010

Going Crazy..........

Just the thought makes me go crazy.....
Am i aiming too high.... Would it end up in disappointment....??
Still, i can't let it go...I Simply can't!! I aim High, to fly High!!
i simply can't lower down my expectation on myself....

So wat is it going to take of me....?
I SIMPLY MUST DO IT....

Papa, i think ur child is about to go crazy... The class hvn't even started yet, & there's so much burden on me...so many thoughts that i may juz FAIL...!!
Will i make it in the End.?
Am i just pushing it too much...?
Please grant me Ur peace & assurance.... I NEED IT!!

I WANT TO DO IT...4 BOTH U & ME!!!
I have to do it Lord... HELP.......................

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friends.

Was talking to Mr. Gan the other day... & made me realize...
YES!! It's true!! This is wat i want....

I've always told myself this... 'I should be treating people the way i  would want them to treat me'
regardless of whether they've done the same to me.. I've owez tried my very best not to hurt them!
& be there 4 them the time they need a friend the most!

But u know... there are only up to a certain limit that is under my control... Despite how hard i've tried...
I can't seem to satisfy all!

the more i try not to get them hurt, it ends up in a way that im HURT DEEPLY!!!
the more i try not to make them sad, I GET DEPRESSED!

i guess, 1 of the things that make me sad the most is that people use me in the name of friendship!! haih... dun wanna talk too much bout it.... dwelling too much on sadness can only bring u more sadness!!!
come to think of it... i think im more in a "Nanny McPhee" situation.... When some1 need me, but don't want me, i'll be there 4 them... But when some1 want me, but no longer need me, I'll dissappear... 

but i was complaining to God regarding tiz matter... I Told Him, no matter how much i've intended everything for good... People still blame me! Hate me! or simply choose to Forget me!
and He showed me that im not the only one who went through it... HE DID TOO!!!

He came to earth coz he loved mankind!! was on earth teaching & guiding but still there were people who hated him till the extend that CRUCIFIED HIM!! Though Jesus came & died for all, there r still people who choose not to believe Him or love Him....

So..... Well, guess my hurt is not nearly painful to what He went through... But am glad that there is a some1 who really cares & understands exactly what im going through...

& if people still misunderstands me, SO BE IT!! Don't care oso ady.... Up to them if they want me or not... im not going to take any effort to try to clear those misunderstanding... as long as i know that im walking righteously b4 God, My conscious is clear!!

of all thing i go through... if i make at least 1 fren who cares about me the way i do 4 others... EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE JUZ SO WORTH IT!!!

& to all my frenz.... if there's anything u go through life, & u need a friend to talk to, IM STILL SAYING THAT i'll be there for u.... But whether u choose to come to me or not, IT's ENTIRELY UP TO U!!!

but just so u know, no one makes the BEST COUNSELOR except for JESUS Himself... & He too longs to share your problem... ONLY IF U LET HIM TOO... 

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Im juz glad that u'll be by my side whenever im falling 
in the dead of night, whenever im calling
Your hands that r holding me, help me not to let go....
ur hands r holding on to mine.... DON'T LET GO DADDY!!!!!!

I'll choose to believe u....  
choose to trust in you
as i wait, & seek u 1st, 
Best things in life will come later on...

For me now... Nothing else matters... BUT U!!!!!!!!