Lately

Lately i have been getting very Angry...
over little little things, I'll Explode!
The way i talk back can only Stir up more anger!!


Hmm... am tired of everything all over again..!
am fed up with everyone and everything...
Don't feel like talking to anyone either...
just want to be to myself with Peace & Quiet around me....


Don't want to think too much!
Don't want to speak too much!
Just want to get my things done & THAT'S IT!!!


I'm Sorry if i didn't reply to any of your messages...
I'm sorry if i don't come online often to chat with you
as i said, juz want to be to myself lately...
Not in a position where i can Help u....
The way i am now, can only hurt you....

Always ENOUGH!!

I've said it b4, & i'll say it again...
I JUST LOVE THE WAY GOD WORKS IN MY LIFE!!!
& All i've got to do is SIMPLY LET GO.....


He did it in my SPM, 
& HE did it again today...


as i was saying in my testimony in youth meeting...
was telling God the other day, that i might just NOT GET EMPLOYED IN Great Eastern Mall....
1. I didn't dress Formal! (was dressing more fashionable, that the interviewer had to tell me, "NEXT TIME WEAR FORMAL K... ")
2. I didn't prepare my Resume
3. I didn't photocopy my foundation results that they had to photocopy themselves!! (& it happened TWICE btw...)


hehe... yea... i know... =.=


but still GOD WORKS!!! i didn't purposely do all those stuff, its just that i didn't know... 1st time... hehe... when i came back... i looked back & saw all the mistakes i did & i actually gave up on it... told God, it didn't matter anymore!! i don't care if i didn't get the job, COZ I SCREWED UP!!! lol....


but NOPE!! HE DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!!! HE STILL WORKED!!
they called me today & said they'll offer me the job...
Temporary Clerk in Compliance Department.... ^_^
starting 2nd February...


im juz glad i get this job coz it doesn't interfere with CHURCH!! 
My working hours..  Monday - Friday 8.30am - 5.30pm
                                   Saturday 9am - 12pm


AM SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO WORK ON SUNDAY!!!! 
& I WILL ALSO BE BACK 4 YOUTH MEETING ON FRIDAY ON TIME.... YAY!!!


My sis was saying... U didn't even do much & u get the job...?? lol....
yeap...


Praise God.... 
i obtained Good results in SPM b'coz of HIM
i obtained Great results in Foundation b'coz of HIM
& now, i obtained this job b'coz of HIM.... ^_^

Letting go of my dreams

One of my Dream which has been closest to my heart ever since i was young...
is to Go to BCM, to graduate there & become a Pastor...
well, today i learned!!! JUZ TO LET GO!!!


STILL DUNNO WHETHER IM CALLED TO BE ONE!!
but 1 thing was made clear today... that God really do wants me to work in the field of COUNSELLING!!
so yea... so far im on the right path... but where im suppose to go or whom im suppose to be in the future...
I SIMPLY WILL KNOW, ONLY IF I LET GO!!!


1 of the promises of God... 'If we DESIRE to walk according to God's will, God will make sure that we are doing so!! He will make sure to bring us back on the right path even if we are on the wrong path'


if im called to go to BCM, that will be GREAT!! my dream ever since i was a little girl has COME TRUE!!
but if im not chosen to serve God in this ministry!! well, FINE!! OKEY!! God's ways are beyond my thought!!


My dream is BIG!! But if this is not He's plan 4 me,
Then He simply has something BIGGER planned out for me!!


i remembered all those time, juz the thought that if i can't become a pastor!! TEARS WILL STREAM DOWN MY CHEEK!!! 


but now... yea... I HAVE TO!!!


THE SECRET TO LIFE, IS LETTING GO!!
LETTING GO TO THE PERSON WHOM MAKES ALL THINGS TO WORK OUT WELL...


I HAVE TO!!
I SIMPLY HAVE TO LET GO!!!!


Faith is believing in God, even when we have many unanswered question...
& seeing He's Children having Faith in HIM, makes HIM happy...
It puts a smile on God's face...


i guess i just want to see God smiling & be proud of me now...
So YES!!! HAVE FAITH MELLISSA!! HAVE FAITH!!!

My new wallpaper!!!

Was bored the other day.. So was just thinking bout THE EAGLE...

Was exploring the net 4 some cool pictures of eagles... 

& this one caught my attention!! 

decided to make it my wallpaper in my desktop!!!

added in the Scripture & the bright shining star which represent GOD, as My source of strength to help me soar on wings like eagle.......

Pretty Cool eh....

im still overwhelmed by it.... ^_^
Love it every time i switch on my computer... :)

Boys will be boys, & girl will always be girls...

Ok! gotta admit!
have been feeling down lately!


things that i have been feeding my heart with lately:-
* Love Story Book!
* Romance Movie!
* Facebook!
* Gossips!


Whatever i sow! that's what i reap rite...!!
have all this crazy idea of Having a boyfriend now...
it may be normal 4 many, but not 4 me!
i mean, i am usually a gal who rather Waits then 2 rush 2any RELATIONSHIPS! If possible, don't think about any relationship now... it can wait!


but u see!!! things i have been dwelling on lately has shown its effect on me!!


1of the fantasy's i've been having... is 4 my future guy to be my gud friend NOW!! Bring him to youth meetings & get to know him even now...


well yes... so.. had been talking to Two Of my guy frenz regarding tiz matter!!
guy no.1 said... Well yes, u have a hard heart for God! May be difficult but juz wait, God will show u ur guy!!
guy no.2 said... Lame!! Don't WASTE YOUR TIME on Love right now.. Your real love will come later!!


well yeah! now as i think about it!! I MEAN I CAN'T!!! If the guy is in my church right now.. Think i will not go to church 4 the right reason anymore!! 
i will loose my focus!!
will be trying harder to please my guy than my God....


well, THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!!! I can never let any1 to take God's place in my heart!!
im still young... still got lotz to learn!!! if there's a distraction b4 me, how am i going to learn...
i may simply miss whatever God WANTS TO TEACH ME!!!


haih... another thing that i have forgotten is that, i was hoping 4 a guy to come along to be on my side, to be overly protective over me!! HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT JESUS IS ALREADY THERE PROTECTING ME!! ALWAYS ON MY SIDE EVEN WHEN IM ASLEEP!! He's watching over me!!!


what more can i ask.... THE PERFECT GUY IS ALREADY BESIDE ME!!!
Haih haih... how could i have ever forgotton!! & i have let all these silly thoughts to swim around in my mind 4 two days!!! I HAVE INDEED WASTED MY TIME!!!


OK!! ENOUGH!! NO MORE!!
Listen to the Voice of TRUTH, not to the voices in ur heart!!
holding back to my principle!!


i am asked to SOAR ON WINGS LIKE EAGLE!! I'm not going to wonder around like a CHICKEN!!

& LIKE AN EAGLE SHALL I BE!!!

In the secret!

Heart!

I Feel it again....
MY HEART!!! *sigh*
be careful heart.! BE CAREFUL!!
Can't afford to see you hurt again...


keep your Eyes & Heart ON GOD!!
WHERE EVERYTHING MATTERS!!


Run to Him & hide under His arms where you will feel safe & loved again!!
His love is much more worth it!!!

Voice Of Truth...

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is, 
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant 
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth


I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

Everyday!

Help me to SEE in Your Eyes
to HEAR in Your Ears
to SPEAK with Your Lips
to DO as You Do
to LIVE everyday of my life remembering that the breath that i breathe is Yours!!! & Always Yours!!!

More deeper i fall 4 u!!!

The more i read the bible everyday, the more i fall 4u...
the more i talk to u, all the more i feel Ur here beside me...
the more i listen to all those songs that talk about U, the more i want to see U...


Y did i waste all of my days missing out all these wonderful feeling i have 4 u now...
Y didn't i juz start to read the bible since last year,
i would have been sooo much closer to u tiz year & could have skipped all those mistakes i've done in the past...


Y did u place us in this earth daddy,
wouldn't it have saved u all the pain if u juz didn't create us..
U could have juz created 1 Human & showed all the Love & care U've showed to us now to that 1 person...


or Y place us in this earth! u could have juz created us & keep us there with u in Heaven...
Y give us a choice daddy.. Wouldn't it be easier is u juz ask us to do something & make us do it..
U ALWAYS KNOW THE BEST!!!


Y send ur son 2000 years ago & then take Him back & make us to wait again for His return!!
Wouldn't it would have been best if U juz took us all along when u took Him...


Y place us here in this earth & make us learn & wait when u can juz give the wisdom to us now & work immediately..


Y u make urself invisible & speak in a still small voice when u can show the whole world how Big & powerful U r & when u can speak in a voice that can make the whole world tremble...


Y u want us to preach to others when U urself can make them Believe in You...
Y choose to show how powerful u are through working in our lifes when u can still show how GREAT & WONDERFUL U r juz by letting us see U...


when we see u, we can see ur glory!! if we see u, we couldn't possibly stand against u...
who can still say that u r not God after seeing u!!! but they did... 2000 years ago, when u came as son of god.. they didn't believe u!!


if i were there too, i would still not know if i would accept u or reject u... only u would have known... 


so many of these question swimming in my head & thinks izzit that the best way!!!
Y go through all these trouble!!


but still again daddy, Ur ways R beyond my thoughts!!
Wat we may think is Best may turn out to be the worst!!
U know how to make all things end up Good.... 
U never make mistakes...


but u girl still wonders..
Y again u dun give me understanding in all this matters!!!
Speak Daddy, Ur little girl longs to hear from U!!!

ur girl wonders how would ur expression be as u read this letter!!
R u smiling ? R u crying?
Come on God, SHow Me!!!