Its Sunday Again... =D

Yup! its Sunday again
& am very excited to see what God is going to do in our church today!
Every week, when Sunday comes... I just feel so happy...
to go in His presence where everyone comes, JUST TO SEEK HIS FACE! Where GOD IS THE ONLY KING!!
God is moving in our Church... And how much i long to be in part of His move!!

today is a special Sunday...
haha... for the very first time, my Music Team will ALL be joining forces in prayer too before we start our service!
If God had been moving b4, imagine how much it will be from now on when more people pray...
 haha... well, I'm all geared up! & Waiting!

My Psalm

O lord, My God
I thank Thee for giving Thy servant the privilege to call You Abba Father
I thank Thee for Thy Faithfulness & for Thy patience towards me & my unfaithful actions
Sometimes, Thy servant think that it's just best if You just punish me!

But nevertheless, i speak the truth in saying, "i will be terrified if Your wrath really do fall upon me."
i'm very afraid to see You being angry at ME!
Being in a position where Your wrath falls upon me, is the most scariest scenario that can ever happen to me!
Seeing You or imagining You being angry towards me, don't think my heart can take it God.

You are one person whom i've really imagine who really loves me no matter what!
so if i don't get that love from You, Im nothing Lord. I'll feel empty! I'll feel Lost! i am worthless without You!

Daddy,
No matter what, as the day begins and ends
as i grow from young to old
till i turn from bad to good
from who i am now till i become who you want me to be

Please don't give up on me
Please don't let go of my hand
Please don't pass me by

The Israelites wonder in the wilderness for 40 years as Your wrath falled on them
But lord I'm half way there! and i don't want to respond in the same way!
Don'r ask me why i 4get You in my busiest moments!
Forgive me that i seek You only when i need You!
Forgive me when i say i'll change, but keep falling back to my old ways!

But Lord, Never give up on me!
I'm on Your side!
Don;t reject me!
Don't ignore me!
I long to b in part of Your plans!

Don't let go of my hands!
Don't let go even if i did let go!
Please Hold me tight!
I need You by my side
If You go against me!
I'm dead!
I'm worst than dead!
if You let me go, the enemy will surround me, break me to pieces and crush me!

You are my strength Lord
in my weakest moment, show that You are the strongest
Prove how great and mighty You are in a small person like me!

I can't remember how many times i've said that i'll surrender my life to You
But i somehow feel that i'm still holding on to it.!
Lord help me to completely let go!
to Run when You ask me to Run!
to Jump down the moment You ask to Jump!

Im just like a instrument lord!
if You don't take me and play me or tune me according to Your will,
i'm just gonna stay in one corner and collect dust!

I'm just like a sheep which is LOST!
If You don't come and look for me and carry me on Your shoulders back home,
I'll die waiting for You lord!
Im not gonna move anywhere till You ask me to move
I'll wait till You come and get me.

The secret of life

The secret of life, is letting go

The secret of love, is letting it show

In all that I do, in all that I say

Right here in this moment

The power of prayer, Is a humble cry

The power of change, Is in giving my life

And laying it down

Down at your feet

Right here in this moment

Take my heart

Take my soul

And all that is within me

Lift up to you and say

I am yours and yours alone

Completely

This journey of life, Is a searchful truth

This journey of faith, Is following you

Every step of the way, For the joy and the pain

Right here in this moment

Take my heart

Take my soul

I surrender everything to you alone

And all that is within me

Lift up to you and say

I am yours and yours alone

Completely

 

Semester ended... Lesson Learnt!

Final's done... Semester's over...
overall i am glad and satisfied with everything...
With the type of course i've chose..
with the things im learning and learnt so far...
with the college i've chosen...


am glad that the course i've chosen was one of God's Will 4 me...
and for that i have the inner peace coz im also on the Right track!!


learning psychology is fun!!
many things can be applied in my own life...
having the knowledge of why people do what they do is amazing... (it's like able to understand them without asking them y...)


But one of the things i've learnt and am longing to share is this....


Type of Attachment Style with their caregiver during infant & how it has the impact on an individual's relationship life in the future...


All in all there are 3 Attachment Style:

• Avoidant Attachment Style- With Distant & Aloof Caregiver
• Anxious or Ambivalent Attachment Style- With Inconsistent &Overbearing Caregiver
• Secure Attachment Style- Responsive & Caring Caregiver

so any individual will fall in any of the three category depending on the type of relationship they had with their caregiver... but the best Attachment Style will be the secure attachment style coz that individual will grow up to be a confident individual who will venture into a relationship thinking that he/she is worthy and precious and should only deserve the BEST!!

However, i can't stop thinking that EVERYONE CAN FALL INTO THE 3RD CATEGORY!! Cause every1 do have a Responsive & Caring Caregiver which is no one else but JESUS himself.... it's all depending on how you look at it.... Whether agree or not, YES! JESUS DO CARE! & HE IS THE GREATEST CAREGIVER IN THE WORLD...!!

YOU did it again LORD!!!!! =D

My scholarship in HELP has been approved!!!!!!!!!
i am now eligible for 'HELP INSTITUTE SCHOLARSHIP - PARTIAL DISTINCTION AWARD' 

Even now God proved that it was HIM & not me!! (Reason being, i actually completed my essay 4 hours before the day i needed to pass up my form & also handed the scholarship form on the exact date line...didn't expect too much but simply committed it to God coz there's nothing much i can do...even before i applied for the scholarship, the HELP Officer actually said juz give it a try though there's not much HOPE for PSYCHOLOGY students... The standards is high it seems... & their very strict... ).


You see... EVEN THEN, GOD BRINGS HOPE!!!
& ALL WE GOTTO DO IS SIMPLY BELIEVE....


THANK YOU LORD!!!
Loving the way YOU are Working in my LIFE!!!
Never give up on me ya.... i only have  YOU!! 

This Whole week.... A "YAY" & A "SIGH"

Alot has been happening lately...

• Prayer & Santification Service!! (1ST TIME EVER IN Saving Grace!! And the presence of God was simply AWESOME!! I had the peace of God the whole time....)
• Daddy got hit with a MILD STROKE!! (Immediately a day after our fasting & prayer sanctification service!! (See how unsatisfied the enemy is) so at the moment still having a little difficulties to move his right leg & arm as normal as b4....

so whole week mum & dad was at home taking care of each other.... and i can't help much coz...

• Exam Stress...

& due to wat happened to dad, dunno which to concentrate on....
EXAM or DAD...??

Haiz........ my heart!!! is about to explode..! (Actually explode to so many people ady... lol)
Still above all, am counting on God.... Am Surrendering everything....
If i were to handle all this problems myself, I CAN'T!!!

juz seeing how differently my whole family reacted to this event were simply so amazing!! THANKS BE TO OUR GOD!!! We have grown to know that GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL... We all prayed, and all received the same answers.... HE WILL HANDLE IT... He will turn tiz situation around for Good!!

but Juz looking at my dad makes me cry...
so have to pretend that i dun care & divert my attention somewhere else....

Waiting for this cloud of trial to be shifted away from my family & i.....

And dear frenz.... if have any probs or wanna talk... i am NOT ur gal...
I am in my LOWEST of emotion at the moment...(need some time to unwind myself ) am trying not to go to anyone but GOD!!!
So till i return to my old self or will come out a total new person after this whole situation?
Is 4 U & I TO WAIT & SEE....

COZ I SURRENDER ALL!!!!!!!

Being Short...

Think i finally figured out something....

there is a positive way of looking at it...

Me being short, God reminded me tiz week that I should never look down on any1 but 

to look up to every1... there is always something that i can ,earn from every1...

As we watch the 10 Commandments (Part2) on friday during Youth Alive...

There was this part towards the end that it states...

"Moses was the only one who saw God face to face, Coz he was the most humblest man on earth..."

I have lotz to learn.. N being Humble is one of the thing...

Instead of looking down on every1, i should be looking up with the thought that even through them, God can teach me new things....

Maybe thatz y im short... even physically i am indirectly reminded that i should not look down on any1.... very seldom i see people who are shorter than me wat.... lol.... ^_^

God is Good... He never fails...

Yup, HE never FAILS..... doesn't matter when or what im going through...

He never fails to realize it! Never fail to send the people in to HELP me!

Never fail to wipe away my tears...

MY GOD IS SO GOOD...! ^_^

Though i needed some help, but not seek for it...

though i was lost not wanting to be found

He came looking for me, & made a way tht i be FOUND AGAIN!!

Even now i say, if u ever feel that no body cares, GOD CARES!

if u think ur lost, COME BE FOUND IN GOD!

Cause God aint going to let go of ur hand unless u do!

it happened to me, & it can happen to u too.... 

Going Crazy..........

Just the thought makes me go crazy.....

Am i aiming too high.... Would it end up in disappointment....??

Still, i can't let it go...I Simply can't!! I aim High, to fly High!!

i simply can't lower down my expectation on myself....

So wat is it going to take of me....?

I SIMPLY MUST DO IT....

Papa, i think ur child is about to go crazy... The class hvn't even started yet, & there's so much burden on me...so many thoughts that i may juz FAIL...!!

Will i make it in the End.?

Am i just pushing it too much...?

Please grant me Ur peace & assurance.... I NEED IT!!

I WANT TO DO IT...4 BOTH U & ME!!!

I have to do it Lord... HELP.......................

Friends.

Was talking to Mr. Gan the other day... & made me realize...
YES!! It's true!! This is wat i want....

I've always told myself this... 'I should be treating people the way i  would want them to treat me'
regardless of whether they've done the same to me.. I've owez tried my very best not to hurt them!
& be there 4 them the time they need a friend the most!

But u know... there are only up to a certain limit that is under my control... Despite how hard i've tried...
I can't seem to satisfy all!

the more i try not to get them hurt, it ends up in a way that im HURT DEEPLY!!!
the more i try not to make them sad, I GET DEPRESSED!

i guess, 1 of the things that make me sad the most is that people use me in the name of friendship!! haih... dun wanna talk too much bout it.... dwelling too much on sadness can only bring u more sadness!!!
come to think of it... i think im more in a "Nanny McPhee" situation.... When some1 need me, but don't want me, i'll be there 4 them... But when some1 want me, but no longer need me, I'll dissappear... 

but i was complaining to God regarding tiz matter... I Told Him, no matter how much i've intended everything for good... People still blame me! Hate me! or simply choose to Forget me!
and He showed me that im not the only one who went through it... HE DID TOO!!!

He came to earth coz he loved mankind!! was on earth teaching & guiding but still there were people who hated him till the extend that CRUCIFIED HIM!! Though Jesus came & died for all, there r still people who choose not to believe Him or love Him....

So..... Well, guess my hurt is not nearly painful to what He went through... But am glad that there is a some1 who really cares & understands exactly what im going through...

& if people still misunderstands me, SO BE IT!! Don't care oso ady.... Up to them if they want me or not... im not going to take any effort to try to clear those misunderstanding... as long as i know that im walking righteously b4 God, My conscious is clear!!

of all thing i go through... if i make at least 1 fren who cares about me the way i do 4 others... EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE JUZ SO WORTH IT!!!

& to all my frenz.... if there's anything u go through life, & u need a friend to talk to, IM STILL SAYING THAT i'll be there for u.... But whether u choose to come to me or not, IT's ENTIRELY UP TO U!!!

but just so u know, no one makes the BEST COUNSELOR except for JESUS Himself... & He too longs to share your problem... ONLY IF U LET HIM TOO...