A Pure Heart Will See God!

Looking Back

2011-12-31T03:42:00.000+08:00

As i was looking back on my past and things i've achieved and struggled so far,
He was always there...

There were one point in my life, that i was frustrated that i could not hear or recognize the voice of God,
But now i can see that, He was speaking and leading me every step and all this years...

from the very time that i can remember, i.e. from 5-7 years old, up till now when i'm going to turn 21,
He's seal has always been there and i can confidently declare that it was all HIM!

Before i went through anything, Joy or Sorrow,
He warned me ahead of time...
and of all this, the best part was, THAT I HEARD HIM MYSELF...
not through other people, but Him speaking Directly to Me... ^_^

I'm Glad and at the same time, can't wait to see what awaits me in the future....

Jesus was always there to come to my rescue, and will always be there
And He can be there for you too... :)

Jesus is Lord over Saving Grace

2011-12-31T03:12:00.001+08:00

Saving Grace is the name of my church by the way.... :)

My church has been facing it's own obstacles and struggles for the past two years....
But of the many things that had happened, one thing that i cannot tolerate is when one thinks that the church would not run without them....

What is the purpose of going to Church?
is it to prove to one another who i better then whom, or to simply go to Worship & Serve our King..,?

Who should be the center of attention of them all?
God himself or just mere people?

And of all things, when we give unto God, we should always remeber that, we are giving not for men to see, but as a sign of thankfullness and gratefullness for all the things that God has done for us...

i personally believe that church is never a place for competion, but rather a place where we come together as one body and one Heart to sing and give praise to our Lord's name...

And church is never build upon how rich the members are, but are bulit upon Jesus, OUR FIRM FOUNDATION... God sometimes uses the rich or the poor to help in expanding the church on earth, but at the end of the day, when all things fail, God can still provide for his Church with or without the help of people...

Just like in the scripture that says, when men fail to praise and worship God, He can make even the Rock to Cry out and sing prasies to His Name....

Likewise, Even if people are not there to provide, God can Provide SUPERNATUALLY....

Of all these years, i looked backed over my life, i can see that God was there in the mist of it all (in all the things i've faced). and He is and always will be there guiding and leading me through every step of the way...

When God is for us, Who then can be against us,
and if God has opened up the door for us, then who can ever shut the door that He has opened...

I serve a GREAT & WONDERFUL God....
Trust in the Lord with all Your heart,, and lean not in your own understanding...
in all your ways, you acknowledge Him, & He will make your paths straight... :)

YOU are the Reason

2011-08-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

As I was doing my devotion, it STRUCK ME!

You are the reason of why I Breath today!

You are the reason of where I am today!

You are the reason WHY i am Here!

I am Here, Because of You!

First, You created my inmost being,

Then you gave me life

You knew me even before i was born

When i was still in my mother's womb

You are the reason, I want to serve!

I want to do well because of You!

So that Your Name can be glorified!

You are the reason, I shouldn't be afraid!

Cause You assured that I am Yours

My future is in Your Hand

& Now....,

You are the reason of why i want to CARE!

You are the reason of why i want to LOVE!

You are the reason of why i want to SHARE!

YOU ARE THE REASON FOR MY VERY EXISTENCE DEAR LORD 

& I WANT IT TO REMAIN LIKE SUCH ALWAYS!

YOU ARE MY REASON FOR LIVING

Shelter- Home for Children

2011-08-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

That will be my "working place" for the next few weeks or months
i have volunteered to help out in this shelter starting 15th August 2011.... (any1 wants to follow? haha)
mostly tutors are needed, but i've also agreed to teach musical instrument to the children there...

i guess it is time for me to reach out! to go beyond my church's four walls...
to put into practice what i've learnt in church
& show God's love to all especially to these unfortunate children....

i guess the best part of it all is that it is a Christian shelter....
so i can openly talk about Christ! :)

Though have to admit,
it was a very very last minute decision

& i am a little afraid of being able to fit it!
but I WANT TO DO IT!
It's NOW or NEVER!

I HAVE TO LEARN!
I HAVE TO CARE!
I HAVE TO SPREAD THE LOVE!

Oh Lord, Please Help me..... help me to handle all these kids... i hope they will see YOU in me!
Grant me the patience and the wisdom i need... Teach & Guide me Dear Holy Spirit =)

Dear Papa,

2011-08-06T02:32:00.000+08:00

You have been taking care of me since young..
You cared for me ever since i could remember...
all those times, when my mum use to tell me stories about You,
i've always imagined You as my HERO coming to my rescue...

Now, i don't need to imagine any longer Lord!
Cause YOU ARE MY HERO!
You've been there when i most needed You
and you were still there when i didn't

During all those crucial times,
You were there to catch me when i fall
to lift me up again when i'm down
There is no doubt that You are a GREAT GOD, Lord!

& i need you again Lord!
i've always needed you
now that the time is near...
take care of it Lord!
You promised me that You will...
& i chose to trust You...

Just as Abraham plainly followed you without knowing where, when or how,
i too choose to follow You Lord!
You said you'll take care....
now take care Lord...
your servant needs Your Help!
Your daughter is seeking Your face

I AM WAITING!
Come to my rescue Lord!
Come to my rescue like you've always did...

A Pure heart will SEE God!

2011-08-05T02:03:00.000+08:00

The BIBLE is God's Breathe,
& His Word will never return to Him VOID!

And plainly in His word, he states that the PURE HEART WILL SEE GOD! (Matthew 5:8)

it has always been and still is my dream to see God face to face! to experience His Presence! To sit on His lap and hear His heartbeat! to hear Him Laugh! Hear His Voice! to see Him smile! to know His thoughts! and when he's Proud of me! wanting to Hug Him, knowing my hand won't be long enough to go around Him! ^_^

Don't expect anyone to understand! but I WANT TO SEE GOD! LITERALLY!!!
many already said to me that that's not what the scripture meant... but it doesn't really change my mind on what i want.... i mean, many had seen... though not all, SOME still DID!!! & i too want to be part of that SOME!! I WANT TO BE PART OF THAT SOME WHO SAW GOD!
JACOB SAW! MOSES SAW! & I WANT TO TOO!

Hence, My AIM: Pursue a PURE HEART!

However, When i've first started these blog, i asked the question, WHO AM I?
& now i have the answer,
-i am MY FATHER'S CHILD!
-i am NOTHING WITHOUT MY DAD!
-i am HIS SERVANT WHO WANTS TO LIVE MY LIFE FOR HIM, MY KING!

It's no longer a new news that i've completely devoted my life for Him and i want to flow wherever He leads me!

In everything i do, I want His name to be made known, & His name to be glorified...
for Lives to b touched and His name to be Exalted High above the Earth!
for others to experience the same goodness that i've experienced through my Journey With God!

STILL ...

i know i am not completely ready! You know y?
BECAUSE I AM STILL SELFISH!
just like my Father is a Jealous God, i too Get Jealous!
I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE SOME1 BEING CLOSER TO GOD THEN ME!

imagine these...
My God standing in the center surrounded by many of his children who has the desire to want more of Him too...
n i am somewhere among the crowd trying to reach out for HIM too!
i know that the Bible says that His Grace is SUFFICIENT FOR ALL!
BUT UP TILL NOW....
I HAVN'T GOT ENOUGH OF HIM....
I HAVN'T GONE TO THE POINT TO SAY 'so much i can't contain! so much i have to give it away'

Coz i still want more of His PRESENCE IN MY LIFE
i still want more of His LOVE IN MY LIFE
i still want to SERVE HIM MORE!

haha....

that was my answer to one who approached me n said 'you must start caring for others'

Thinking about it now.....
i can't be like that!

cause there will never come a time where we can say ENOUGH GOD!
there will never come a time where i can experience God fully that i put a full stop to it!
His ways, thoughts, n love r always beyond what out mind and hearts can comprehend!
there can never b words Good enough to say or express HOW MUCH HE LOVES US!

My sister was saying to me once
God always GIVE! GIVE! GIVE! & He FORGIVES...
But you always GET! GET! GET! & u FORGET!

Just experiencing His Goodness is not enough but we need to give and show the same to others...
cause He simply commanded to give water to the thirsty, food to the hungry, & clothes to the needy!
NOT
give water to the thirsty once you drank, food to the hungry once you ate or even clothe the needy after covering yourself!

The same love he showed me, I need to show others... I didn't deserve it, yet HE GAVE! & hence I too must GIVE because i want to FOLLOW MY FATHER'S FOOTSTEP!

Little by Little Everyday!

2011-08-05T00:59:00.000+08:00

I Guess after a long long time,
It's safe to say THAT I'M BACK AGAIN!
there had been lotz taking place in my life.... Both Spiritually & Mentally

a lot of issues & conflicts that i needed to resolve that was battling against me...
a lot of decisions the i needed to make
& lots of 'Rising Up to the Occasion' situation took place in my life!

I Thank God, that in the mist of all these mess in my Life, God has always been there n will always be there FOR ME!

One thing i would like to share with u as to what i've learnt thru my journey is these:-
Our dear Papa, has given both you and me the Gift of the Holy Spirit!
& He is always there giving us the guidance that we seek & need,
However, if we choose to ignore his voice & do our own things, Little by little His voice will get softer and soon dissapear of your life.
But if we choose to Listen & Obey His voice, We will hear Him much clearer n closer to our life Little by Little Everyday...!

I'm truly amazed of all the wonderful things God has been teaching in my life & how miraculously he had given me the Wisdom & the Understanding to many which i never thought i knew.

My prayer now for you and for all the people i know is that HE will grant u all the same guidance n assurance that he has grant me!

If you want me to give you a Guarantee of one person who'll never Forsake you or Leave you, then my definite answer will be MY LORD JESUS CHRIST!

The ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO'LL NEVER LET GO OF MY HAND!
& He wants to do the same for YOU too!
Because He loves us ALL the same!

Thoughts for Good Friday

2011-04-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

Every year as i remember the day My God was slaughtered for my sake
The thoughts were never the same

This year I thank thee my Lord, for the sacrifice You made
For Your willingness to die for me, a worthless servant
For Your willingness to take those hitting and shame, which should have been mine

To think that You were on the cross FOR ME!
Makes me think,
Y SHOULD YOU...?
Y WOULD YOU...?
It's not worth it... its just me...
a sinner who keeps falling back to her old ways...
a worthless servant which don't deserve the kind of love You're showing her

Still...
You did it...

Still...
You were hanging on the cross for me...

Still...
You chose to receive all those pain and humiliation for my sake...

Still...
when you were in pain & while You were hanging on the cross,
You thought of me...

*hugs*

Though Your servant knows that she is not worth of thy Love
But from the bottom of my hearts, I THANK THEE
i thank Thee for thy sacrifice

For without what You did for me,
I would't have had a special friend like You whom i can call 'ABBA FATHER'

For without what You did for me,
I wouldn't have had You by my side always... to whom i can always have Hope & i can hold on too..

Your servant praise Thee O God,
For You alone deserve it...
For You are such a Great God who loves Your creation Unfailingly & Unconditionally....

In Awe...

2011-04-15T14:02:00.000+08:00

Praise God for how fast He answered my prayer...
We had a 'Dream Weekend' in church on Sunday where my pastor spoke about OUR DREAM!
we were asked to fill in the form & insert in a "dream box"

as i began to ask God what is my dream,
one of the things i wrote down was..
To be listed as one of the Top Students in the Psychology department in HELP College!

True enough, within weeks, i was listed as among the TOP STUDENTS!
received an e-mail from my department where they stated that the Dean, Dr. Goh, wanted to meet all the top students in Psychology Department.
AM TRULY IN AWE ON HOW FAST GOD HEARD THE PRAYER...

All GLORY, PRAISE & HONOUR Belongs To God & Him Alone...

Its Sunday Again... =D

2011-03-20T07:50:00.000+08:00

Yup! its Sunday again
& am very excited to see what God is going to do in our church today!
Every week, when Sunday comes... I just feel so happy...
to go in His presence where everyone comes, JUST TO SEEK HIS FACE! Where GOD IS THE ONLY KING!!
God is moving in our Church... And how much i long to be in part of His move!!

today is a special Sunday...
haha... for the very first time, my Music Team will ALL be joining forces in prayer too before we start our service!
If God had been moving b4, imagine how much it will be from now on when more people pray...
haha... well, I'm all geared up! & Waiting!

My Psalm

2011-03-18T00:57:00.000+08:00

O lord, My God
I thank Thee for giving Thy servant the privilege to call You Abba Father
I thank Thee for Thy Faithfulness & for Thy patience towards me & my unfaithful actions
Sometimes, Thy servant think that it's just best if You just punish me!

But nevertheless, i speak the truth in saying, "i will be terrified if Your wrath really do fall upon me."
i'm very afraid to see You being angry at ME!
Being in a position where Your wrath falls upon me, is the most scariest scenario that can ever happen to me!
Seeing You or imagining You being angry towards me, don't think my heart can take it God.

You are one person whom i've really imagine who really loves me no matter what!
so if i don't get that love from You, Im nothing Lord. I'll feel empty! I'll feel Lost! i am worthless without You!

Daddy,
No matter what, as the day begins and ends
as i grow from young to old
till i turn from bad to good
from who i am now till i become who you want me to be

Please don't give up on me
Please don't let go of my hand
Please don't pass me by

The Israelites wonder in the wilderness for 40 years as Your wrath falled on them
But lord I'm half way there! and i don't want to respond in the same way!
Don'r ask me why i 4get You in my busiest moments!
Forgive me that i seek You only when i need You!
Forgive me when i say i'll change, but keep falling back to my old ways!

But Lord, Never give up on me!
I'm on Your side!
Don;t reject me!
Don't ignore me!
I long to b in part of Your plans!

Don't let go of my hands!
Don't let go even if i did let go!
Please Hold me tight!
I need You by my side
If You go against me!
I'm dead!
I'm worst than dead!
if You let me go, the enemy will surround me, break me to pieces and crush me!

You are my strength Lord
in my weakest moment, show that You are the strongest
Prove how great and mighty You are in a small person like me!

I can't remember how many times i've said that i'll surrender my life to You
But i somehow feel that i'm still holding on to it.!
Lord help me to completely let go!
to Run when You ask me to Run!
to Jump down the moment You ask to Jump!

Im just like a instrument lord!
if You don't take me and play me or tune me according to Your will,
i'm just gonna stay in one corner and collect dust!

I'm just like a sheep which is LOST!
If You don't come and look for me and carry me on Your shoulders back home,
I'll die waiting for You lord!
Im not gonna move anywhere till You ask me to move
I'll wait till You come and get me.

The secret of life

2011-03-14T01:06:00.001+08:00

The secret of life, is letting go

The secret of love, is letting it show

In all that I do, in all that I say

Right here in this moment

The power of prayer, Is a humble cry

The power of change, Is in giving my life

And laying it down

Down at your feet

Right here in this moment

Take my heart

Take my soul

And all that is within me

Lift up to you and say

I am yours and yours alone

Completely

This journey of life, Is a searchful truth

This journey of faith, Is following you

Every step of the way, For the joy and the pain

Right here in this moment

Take my heart

Take my soul

I surrender everything to you alone

And all that is within me

Lift up to you and say

I am yours and yours alone

Completely

Semester ended... Lesson Learnt!

2010-12-15T10:48:00.000+08:00

Final's done... Semester's over...
overall i am glad and satisfied with everything...
With the type of course i've chose..
with the things im learning and learnt so far...
with the college i've chosen...

am glad that the course i've chosen was one of God's Will 4 me...
and for that i have the inner peace coz im also on the Right track!!

learning psychology is fun!!
many things can be applied in my own life...
having the knowledge of why people do what they do is amazing... (it's like able to understand them without asking them y...)

But one of the things i've learnt and am longing to share is this....

Type of Attachment Style with their caregiver during infant & how it has the impact on an individual's relationship life in the future...

All in all there are 3 Attachment Style:

Avoidant Attachment Style- With Distant & Aloof Caregiver
Anxious or Ambivalent Attachment Style- With Inconsistent &Overbearing Caregiver
Secure Attachment Style- Responsive & Caring Caregiver

so any individual will fall in any of the three category depending on the type of relationship they had with their caregiver... but the best Attachment Style will be the secure attachment style coz that individual will grow up to be a confident individual who will venture into a relationship thinking that he/she is worthy and precious and should only deserve the BEST!!

However, i can't stop thinking that EVERYONE CAN FALL INTO THE 3RD CATEGORY!! Cause every1 do have a Responsive & Caring Caregiver which is no one else but JESUS himself.... it's all depending on how you look at it.... Whether agree or not, YES! JESUS DO CARE! & HE IS THE GREATEST CAREGIVER IN THE WORLD...!!

YOU did it again LORD!!!!! =D

2010-10-19T16:57:00.000+08:00

My scholarship in HELP has been approved!!!!!!!!!
i am now eligible for 'HELP INSTITUTE SCHOLARSHIP - PARTIAL DISTINCTION AWARD'

Even now God proved that it was HIM & not me!! (Reason being, i actually completed my essay 4 hours before the day i needed to pass up my form & also handed the scholarship form on the exact date line...didn't expect too much but simply committed it to God coz there's nothing much i can do...even before i applied for the scholarship, the HELP Officer actually said juz give it a try though there's not much HOPE for PSYCHOLOGY students... The standards is high it seems... & their very strict... ).

You see... EVEN THEN, GOD BRINGS HOPE!!!
& ALL WE GOTTO DO IS SIMPLY BELIEVE....

THANK YOU LORD!!!
Loving the way YOU are Working in my LIFE!!!
Never give up on me ya.... i only have YOU!!

This Whole week.... A "YAY" & A "SIGH"

2010-10-16T08:58:00.000+08:00

Alot has been happening lately...

Prayer & Santification Service!! (1ST TIME EVER IN Saving Grace!! And the presence of God was simply AWESOME!! I had the peace of God the whole time....)
Daddy got hit with a MILD STROKE!! (Immediately a day after our fasting & prayer sanctification service!! (See how unsatisfied the enemy is) so at the moment still having a little difficulties to move his right leg & arm as normal as b4....

so whole week mum & dad was at home taking care of each other.... and i can't help much coz...

Exam Stress...

& due to wat happened to dad, dunno which to concentrate on....
EXAM or DAD...??

Haiz........ my heart!!! is about to explode..! (Actually explode to so many people ady... lol)
Still above all, am counting on God.... Am Surrendering everything....
If i were to handle all this problems myself, I CAN'T!!!

juz seeing how differently my whole family reacted to this event were simply so amazing!! THANKS BE TO OUR GOD!!! We have grown to know that GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL... We all prayed, and all received the same answers.... HE WILL HANDLE IT... He will turn tiz situation around for Good!!

but Juz looking at my dad makes me cry...
so have to pretend that i dun care & divert my attention somewhere else....

Waiting for this cloud of trial to be shifted away from my family & i.....

And dear frenz.... if have any probs or wanna talk... i am NOT ur gal...
I am in my LOWEST of emotion at the moment...(need some time to unwind myself ) am trying not to go to anyone but GOD!!!
So till i return to my old self or will come out a total new person after this whole situation?
Is 4 U & I TO WAIT & SEE....

COZ I SURRENDER ALL!!!!!!!

Being Short...

2010-09-20T20:23:00.001+08:00

Think i finally figured out something....

there is a positive way of looking at it...

Me being short, God reminded me tiz week that I should never look down on any1 but

to look up to every1... there is always something that i can ,earn from every1...

As we watch the 10 Commandments (Part2) on friday during Youth Alive...

There was this part towards the end that it states...

"Moses was the only one who saw God face to face, Coz he was the most humblest man on earth..."

I have lotz to learn.. N being Humble is one of the thing...

Instead of looking down on every1, i should be looking up with the thought that even through them, God can teach me new things....

Maybe thatz y im short... even physically i am indirectly reminded that i should not look down on any1.... very seldom i see people who are shorter than me wat.... lol.... ^_^

God is Good... He never fails...

2010-09-03T11:59:00.001+08:00

Yup, HE never FAILS..... doesn't matter when or what im going through...

He never fails to realize it! Never fail to send the people in to HELP me!

Never fail to wipe away my tears...

MY GOD IS SO GOOD...! ^_^

Though i needed some help, but not seek for it...

though i was lost not wanting to be found

He came looking for me, & made a way tht i be FOUND AGAIN!!

Even now i say, if u ever feel that no body cares, GOD CARES!

if u think ur lost, COME BE FOUND IN GOD!

Cause God aint going to let go of ur hand unless u do!

it happened to me, & it can happen to u too....

Going Crazy..........

2010-08-27T00:13:00.001+08:00

Just the thought makes me go crazy.....

Am i aiming too high.... Would it end up in disappointment....??

Still, i can't let it go...I Simply can't!! I aim High, to fly High!!

i simply can't lower down my expectation on myself....

So wat is it going to take of me....?

I SIMPLY MUST DO IT....

Papa, i think ur child is about to go crazy... The class hvn't even started yet, & there's so much burden on me...so many thoughts that i may juz FAIL...!!

Will i make it in the End.?

Am i just pushing it too much...?

Please grant me Ur peace & assurance.... I NEED IT!!

I WANT TO DO IT...4 BOTH U & ME!!!

I have to do it Lord... HELP.......................

Friends.

2010-08-13T13:53:00.001+08:00

Was talking to Mr. Gan the other day... & made me realize...
YES!! It's true!! This is wat i want....

I've always told myself this... 'I should be treating people the way i would want them to treat me'
regardless of whether they've done the same to me.. I've owez tried my very best not to hurt them!
& be there 4 them the time they need a friend the most!

But u know... there are only up to a certain limit that is under my control... Despite how hard i've tried...
I can't seem to satisfy all!

the more i try not to get them hurt, it ends up in a way that im HURT DEEPLY!!!
the more i try not to make them sad, I GET DEPRESSED!

i guess, 1 of the things that make me sad the most is that people use me in the name of friendship!! haih... dun wanna talk too much bout it.... dwelling too much on sadness can only bring u more sadness!!!
come to think of it... i think im more in a "Nanny McPhee" situation.... When some1 need me, but don't want me, i'll be there 4 them... But when some1 want me, but no longer need me, I'll dissappear...

but i was complaining to God regarding tiz matter... I Told Him, no matter how much i've intended everything for good... People still blame me! Hate me! or simply choose to Forget me!
and He showed me that im not the only one who went through it... HE DID TOO!!!

He came to earth coz he loved mankind!! was on earth teaching & guiding but still there were people who hated him till the extend that CRUCIFIED HIM!! Though Jesus came & died for all, there r still people who choose not to believe Him or love Him....

So..... Well, guess my hurt is not nearly painful to what He went through... But am glad that there is a some1 who really cares & understands exactly what im going through...

& if people still misunderstands me, SO BE IT!! Don't care oso ady.... Up to them if they want me or not... im not going to take any effort to try to clear those misunderstanding... as long as i know that im walking righteously b4 God, My conscious is clear!!

of all thing i go through... if i make at least 1 fren who cares about me the way i do 4 others... EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE JUZ SO WORTH IT!!!

& to all my frenz.... if there's anything u go through life, & u need a friend to talk to, IM STILL SAYING THAT i'll be there for u.... But whether u choose to come to me or not, IT's ENTIRELY UP TO U!!!

but just so u know, no one makes the BEST COUNSELOR except for JESUS Himself... & He too longs to share your problem... ONLY IF U LET HIM TOO...

2010-08-10T23:13:00.000+08:00

Im juz glad that u'll be by my side whenever im falling

in the dead of night, whenever im calling

Your hands that r holding me, help me not to let go....

ur hands r holding on to mine.... DON'T LET GO DADDY!!!!!!

I'll choose to believe u....
choose to trust in you
as i wait, & seek u 1st,
Best things in life will come later on...

For me now... Nothing else matters... BUT U!!!!!!!!

This is how i feel now...

2010-07-19T13:09:00.000+08:00

...

After a long time.... Back to listening to music till 2am!!! haha...
Many problems are hunting me down... problems after problem...
haha... & MY COLLEGE HVN'T EVEN START YET!!! What more later on... haiz...

But who cares rite!!! juz enjoy my moment till the max!!! No worries about the Future!! My future is in His HAND!!!

So im juz gonna and continue listening to my musicssssssssssssss.......

14th July 2010

2010-07-17T00:48:00.001+08:00

have always wondered y God wanted me to be born on these date!
Have so many question to ask Him about my birth date itself... wat more my other questions im waiting to ask Him face to face!

Tiz year were not in much of 'Celebrating My Birthday' mode!
When i opened my eyes that morning, decided to close it back coz IT WAS THE DAY!
Didn't want to go through my Birth Date today!
woke up with a sigh & eventually got off my bed thinking 'What would God think, seeing His own child being sad on her birthday!'
haha......

I guess this year I didn't had any reason to celebrate! or at least i couldn't think of any!
Am still in the Road to Figuring Myself! To discover Who am i Yet to be!

Still.... Thank God 4 the day... though i didn't want to celebrate! We still did! thanks to my Family...
I was glad that i could be in THE HOUSE OF GOD during my BIRTHDAY!
went to Bible Study! & later went to McD all the way in Bangsar coz my parents saw me being so quiet!!
lol.... though din expect much, God still gave me much!
Received a very B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L Gown from my mum! Can't wait to wear it & Show OFF with it... (hehe)
and some amount of $$ from my Dad!

hmm... but at the end of the day, Think i made my God a little sad Coz of my attitude towards His own Creation!
But keep telling myself! That im not saying tht God made a mistake! Its just that i need a reason to celebrate!
& He needs to show me more clearer Reasons Y i Need to Celebrate!!

Singing... =D

2010-06-27T20:25:00.000+08:00

Jesus U R So Good
Jesus U R So so Good
There's nothing to fear coz im here in Your Presence
Jesus U R so Good
Jesus U R So so Good
I juz want to thank you with every beat of my heart....

Once we were CAT & DOG!!!!

2010-05-28T18:04:00.000+08:00

2day was a hard yet a GREAT DAY!!!
since its public holz... 1 day of break, and we had to clean up the House... WITH MY BRO!!!!! =.=
Did i ever mention that my bro likes to keep the house CLEAN & SPOTLESS!!! =.=
Can be a great husband in the future 4 the future wife but right now, ITS TORTURING 4the four sisters!!!

We started off at 10am and ended the whole cleaning session at about 2PM!!! (He din allow us to take a break even) Imagine that, That boy can clean!!!

But......... hehe... here's the thing, HE DIN ALLOW ME to do much work like all my other sis... the rest were BULLIED TO THE MAX unlike ME!!! hehe.... even when i said i'll do, he juz gave me minor works to do... hehe... SOMETIMES IT FEELS GREAT 2B MY BRO's FAVORITE LITTLE SIS!!!! But of course, who wouldn't compare rite... the whole time, Grace was doing her cores, She was frequently asking bck my bro, ''What Job Did U give Mellissa??'' haha... but yea yea... i helped my bro too... Just that i din do as much as the rest.... haha... ^_^

Well, throughout the cleaning time, it brought me back to the old time... haha... ONCE HIM (My Bro) & I use to be CAT & DOG!!! we bought can fight man!!! he'll come after me to hit me & i'll run after him to hit him back with something in my hand... (something as in: Hanger, Belt, Stick, Broom even sometimes.... lol....)
yea... WE WERE THAT BAD!!! hahaha..... Sometimes, he'll hit me sooo hard that i'll juz sit down there and cry till my dad will have to come to WHACK HIM!!! and as usual he'll run away & hide till everything cools down...hehe...

BUT NOW!!!! IM HIS PET!!! haha.... & I LIKE IT!!!! i can get away with many things that my sis can't get away with... & i can make my bro laugh easily... hehe.... (Trust me, IT AINT EASY TO MAKE HIM LAUGH!! SOMETIMES my sis will end up getting scolding while trying to make him laugh...) =p

But today was good, i asked my bro to take us out 4 McD after we had cleaned up.... & he did, (JUST D 5 OF US!!!) But we couldn't eat there so we bought it back home....!! while the 4 ladies (My sis & i) were out shopping in Selayang Mall, my bro was resting peacefully in the car!!! for about 2 hours i think!!! hehe.....

Who knew my bro was such a patient man!!! haha... he din even blow up!!! he was just sitting there listenning to music...
Guess he knew...,
after a loooooooooooong day of cleaning, the gals only deserve to have fun!!!!
hahahahahaha....
Thank God for a good day....

But still, the day hvn't end yet... The whole Youth Group is going to Angeline's house to pay her a ''VISIT''!!!
IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahaha........
Cn't wait!!!!!!!!!! =D

Falling...

2010-05-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

Have tiz fren in my working place who said to me one day... ''Mellissa! kan bagus being single... tak payah worry bout apa apa.. juz enjoy life je..!,"
then a reply came from another friend of mine... "Tak best la... tak ada sesiapa yang akan tujuk kasih kepada kite..."

hahahahahahaha........
alrite.... listen up... i aint going to talk about how fun or cool having a partner will be!!
it might be! im not saying its not.... all i know is that right now THAT STUFF is NOT IMPORTANT!!! =p

as soon as the reply came from the other friend of mind... this image came into my mind...

young people nowadays r depending too much on their partner!!
They expect their boyfren of galfren to be around when certain things happen to them...

now.... IMAGINE THIS...

U r falling from the sky & u r afraid of how u r going to crash down.. n when u look down, u see ur boyfren/galfren looking up to u n stretching out his or her hand to catch u... & there u r, when u saw ur guy/gal standing there to catch ya, u feel safe! But right then when u r about to touch the ground, the guy/gal walk off...(y he/she walks off can be an entirely a different issue...)
at that moment, can u imagine how u'll feel... There's NO ONE 2 CATCH U!!!
The person u have trusted so much has abandoned u at the very last minute!!!
BUT............
& at that moment when all hope is lost, U SEE URSELF LAYING SAFELY IN God's HAND!!!

THERE!!! Thatz the beauty part of this story...
i figured that young people nowadays (including me) is hoping & puting their trust on other people too much that they FORGET bout the ONLY PERSON whom we can ALWAYS TRUST TO CATCH US WHEN WE FALL!!!

nowadays, we loose hope or break down if we see our frenz walk off when we're feeling down!!
we cry (or at least me) saying no one understands me when THERE IS ALREADY SOME1 WHO UNDERSTANDS U & I MORE THAN WE UNDERSTAND OURSELVES!!!

We search for people to be there with us till the end but we 4GET bout the GOD who stands with us 4EVER!!

Hey, let ur look beyond the galfrenz/boyfrenz... as u fell like ur falling & r going to crash, look down & see that even if ur frenz can't be there 4 u... There is a God who will never even Blink HIS Eyes or take His eyes off u till u land safely in His Palm, so He can hide u under His Arms and keep u safe Once Again...

Simply Remember, that even if Men fail u, GOD WILL NEVA FAIL U!!!

Have a nice people =)

I'm Back......

2010-05-14T01:36:00.001+08:00

yup... Mell is back 4 blogging her life story after a long time.... ^_^
aha... well, 1st of all... I din get into Public University... In a sense i still Thank God Coz i really rather study in HELP than in UM.... (Juz wanted to try in UM coz i tot i heard from God...lol... want to know more about tiz side of story, TALK TO ME STRAIGHT LA K!!! Very looooooong if write here.... =p.)

well, now its official... im entering into HELP... Already making my preparation 4 the registration... How im going to pay of the course fee 4 the whole 3 years..?? LORD I LEAVE IT ENTIRELY TO U!!! =)

Next! My new HP!!! Sony Ericsson W580i!!! I bought it with my own earned $$$... juz b'coz of that fact, im very proud of myself.... haha....... (Credits to my Bro, LUKE! I followed his example.... He bought his very own 1st phone Nokia E73 with his own salary... i bought mine 2 weeks after he did... ^_^). im making a big deal of this is b'coz seeing my bro & myself buying tiz on our own gives me the confidence that we'll do the same when we buy our very 1st house in the future....=D

Work on the other hand... haha... Erm... i had this guy who was one year younger than me... but always like to come around my table to simply disturb & touch me.... =.= not only that, when it reaches lunch time... he comes by my table to sleep on the floor beside my table.... That is simply playing weird i know.... =.= THAT'S Y HE HAD TO GO!!!!!!!!!! lol.... He quits the job due to over-stress... haha.... But i see it as God sending Him away so that he can't disturb His Daughter anymore.... hehe........

Recently Im reading this book called 'Eat the Cookie, But the Shoe!!!' A book that reminds me that i should be celebrating all my little progress & not always look at how far im left behind...
for it says:
I should do MY Very Best & Leave the rest to God!!!
As long as im making Progress, God is pleased!!! =)

God is speaking to me in many different ways through this book....

i have this habit of always comparing myself with others & trying to meet up to their standard....

& thus i did the same in church... After the Chi family left, i guess i tried to be the next "Daniel Chi" (haha.... CRAZY!!! i know...) & simply b'coz of that, guess i was neva satisfied with how i played the guitar.... there was always this CONDEMNATION THAT I HAD PLACED UPON MYSELF....

i lost it for awhile of the real reason y i play the GUITAR 4....

at the moment.... i've came to a realization that i began to talk alot & think even more recently....
im going back in time to refresh back, how Marvelously & Wonderfully God has taken care of me & my family all this years...

as i look back... it reminds me... that i AM INDEED SERVING A GREAT & GOOD God....
& that im not holding on to Him but it is Him who is actually holding on to me.... =)

Thank You Papa 4 being faithful all this years.....
Simply wish that u'll give me the chance to see U...
so i can talk to U, hug U & say Thank U & I LOVE U.... =)

In2 UR Hand I Commit again....

2010-03-15T22:57:00.001+08:00

Feel like want to just lie against UR Chest & never wake up!!
Where else can i find such peace than to just be with U...
Im in Your hand Papa...
Watever Happens, Let it Happen!
Coz i know that ur still in control...

My heart is going Hard! Changing everyday! & have this feeling that im Drawing away from U
Don't let me too...U know me better than I know myself ! Even if i let Go, U please dun let GO!! Please draw me back & Hide me under ur Wings where i may Find Peace beyond all understanding...

Am i a Hypocrite? Do i not mean what i say...? Am i just All Words, But no Action...?
Haih Daddy... I dun want to be one of those who be very "Holy Holy" now but Backslide from u in the future...

I want to be one who goes on Hard & Strong 4U....
Please Grant me back my passion & desire 4U...
Nothing in this world matters when i have U...
Help me to live my days 4U
Help me not to forget U
Help me to talk to U consistently
Help me to read the bible everyday
Help me to be a Good Testimony at Home
Help me to be more like u everyday....
For without UR help, im HELPLESS

LYPG ~ 13th March 2010

2010-03-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

Went to FGA Selayang today 4 Local Youth Prayer Gathering...
& B'coz i went, ALL my 3 Sisters had to follow me... (The Advantage of being the elder sister... lol... ^_^)
Had a great time today.... haha... liked it coz i was able to play the guitar & lead the worship there today....
It was at the very last minute that i was asked to songlead, but praise God everything went well despite the fact that i had to play without a PICK!!!
haha.... at the end of everything.. Realized i broke my nails for strumming so hard... haha....
it felt Good to be among Young people & just be still before God & Speak in Tongues.... =)

At the moment, Mellissa Lina is very excited because she will be attending a Mission School in my uncle's church; Putera Aman Assembly ... From the 17th-21st of March 2010... ^.^
My uncle said, These speakers who's speaking in this Sessions, People have to pay thousands if they were to hear them in BCM.... But here, will only be paying RM25.... haha.... who would want to miss it!!!!
But most of all, i'm excited 4 the Revival Service that they r going to have during one of the night... yeah yeah....
i will be away from home, Staying in my uncle's house & will be travelling from there to work using 3 Different Transportation... haha....
Can't wait to hear what all those Speakers from US & NZ has to say to us....

But still, too bad i have to miss next week's LYPG since i will be still in Serdang....
Hence, Praise God that He Made Way 4 me to Attend this Course.... hehe....... =D

Compassionate 4 the Lost!

2010-03-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

Last Night after work, went & visit my uncle who was admitted in Hospital...
Didn't actually thought that i would feel anything... But as i entered inside the Hospital's room...
saw my uncle lying there on the bed... as i saw him... i began to cry... my dad was there beside me looking towards him... i started praying, and tears began to flow down my cheek even more...
i hvn't been feeling this much of compassionate for a lost soul as this much...

as i saw my dad staring at him, I told him as i was wiping my tears off... i told my dad to pray & ask God not to take this uncle away without giving us the assurance that he will be with God in heaven....

Guess my dad knew i was being silly.... lol.... i mean, now that i think about it... i was acting like a little gal...
But haih.... as i was telling God, if my 1 prayer does make a difference for this uncle's salvation...
Then i'll be there praying & crying out for this uncle...
He suffered enough on earth.. He don't deserve to suffer eternally in Hell too...

The Trio's United Again...

2010-03-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

Yup... After a looooong Time,,,,,,,,,,,,
All Three of us met again.... ^_^
Choy Siew May!! Alison Wok Li Jin!! & ME!! haha...

we 1st planned to go to Jusco to watch movie, but then SM wanted to go 4 sports day in SMK ST MARY, & she wanted us to accompany her too... lol... so Fine!! As much as i don't like to be under the Sun, I just decided to accompany her... Didn't want her to go alone do i... haha...

So after the Sports day, We made our journey to Jusco... Travelled in Bus Then Took a Cab from Selayang Mall... Grace came along of course... haha... then we mey Siew Hui Straight in Jusco....
We went Walking Around Jusco, into Popular (SM bought a Book), Sat down & talk... then entered in Jonny's Restaurant to have our lunch.... We ate & chat in there 4 a long time... Entered into the Restaurant at 2pm & came out about 4.15pm.... lol....

Siew May Never Changed!!! lol... She and her same old self... and always with her Jocks.... haha..........
Alie on the other hand is looking more & more like Adeline .... haha.....
After eating, we went into a SHOE STORE! ^_^ Alie began to go and try out many of the shoes there.... lol...

After a while, we had to go... SM is songleading in her church today, So she had to get ready... Alie, Grace & I travelled back together to Selayang Mall... Alie then bought a swimming goggle & then hopped on the bus & went back home.... Later Grace & I hang around 4 about an hour there, then went to cut our hair.... haha... Yup!! I cut my hair again...lol... Think i look much better now...^_^

All in all, it was good get-together... We had a fun time sharing Experiences in College & how God is Working & Moving in our Lives...
When i am among this group of friend... i Again Feel THANKFUL to God 4 letting them to be part of my life... Wonder how i would have ended up if i didn't mix around with them...

Maybe would have been the SAME OLD SHY, QUIET & TIMID GAL...
haha.... Thank God 4 a good day... =)

Work + Being Extraordinary

2010-03-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since i've updated my blog....
haha... till Juan had to tell me to update it... lol... well, at least it was good to know at least 1 person is reading my blog... if this blog makes a difference in 1 person's lives, I don't mind continuing it for that 1 person...

Thatz 1 of the reason why i like my job at the moment...
The floor im working in at the moment in Great Eastern Tower; all the temporary staffs works there...
They placed us in the 3rd floor coz there weren't enough place up there on the 4th floor for the 4 of us.... (This is not the reason why i like my job though)

The reason why i like tiz job now is because I can make a difference in this 3 other staff who works together with me... They are all 18 Years old, Finished SPM & Waiting for their result...

Let me tell u something about them...
None of them are CHRISTIAN! Im the only ONE there...
All of them are involved in a RELATIONSHIP now...
& when i 1st began... ALL THEY'D TALKED ABOUT WAS ABOUT THEIR GALFRENZ & BOYFRENZ....

of course during the 1st week of work, i was complaining to God, For putting me among this type of people.. when i 1st began, i get frustrated when i see them talking about that all the time... i even wanted to plug in the EARPHONE in the computer & turn on the music to full BLAST!!!

aS wEEks WenT BY, I BEgan TO sEE WHy gOD wANTED me To Be Here...

I NEEDED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN TIZ YOUNG LIFES...
as weeks went by, I'VE OBSERVED ENOUGH!! I'VE LISTENED ENOUGH!! I BEGAN TO TALK!!!
SHARed wiTH THEM mY pRICipleS and StandinGS iN Life....

BelIEVe IT or Not, THese 3 18 year old; 2 girls & 1 Guy, they began to open up to me... telling me everything they've done in the past & even ask me for advise in relationships...

nowdays, WhENevER it Strikes 4 pm, they'll come over to my table & we'll begin to discuss...
So Far we've discussed about PORN! BOYS! GALS! PARENTS! RELATIONSHIPS! MY CHRISTIAN BELIEF! MUSICS! PUBS! =D

One of the thing that has touched me the most is tiz... as we were talking about relationships & guys...
I was sharing with them about my standings and beliefs in life... 'That i wouldn't want to fall for any1... that i would want my guy to be special juz for me...(i mean, every gal would rather want a guy who never been in other relationships before. its like im the only one & will always be the only one for him... if u can understand what i mean... haha...) & So i would want to be special for Him too!' thatz one of the reason why im not involved in any relationship at the moment btw.... Good Guys or Gals in life doesn't come to you Easily & Quickly.... IT REQUIRES TIME & PATIENCE!!

haha.... so as i was sharing tiz wit them... the guy there actually said... 'WOW!!! I Hope that i'll get a wife like you someday...' and the other girl said,'Wah, Im the total opposite of u... ur very good...' THERE!! AT THAT MOMENT!!! i knew that wat i said had an impact in their live!!

Eversince then, our discussion has never been the same.... This people will start a Discussion Topic, & would WANT TO KNOW my point of view on each matter... haha...

and as i speak to them... i've learnt to rely on God's Wisdom and for the Holy Spirit to Speak to them through me... everytime they'd ask me a question... i've learnt not to rush into giving them an answer, But 1st make a silent prayer within my heart to God to Lead me & guide me even as i speak...

IT WAS GOD WHO HELP ME TO GET THIS JOB!!
& NOW I KNOW Y!!

Michelle (My Sis) told this phrase once, & it glued on my mind ever since then...
That God will make a way that, even among the darkness, God will make 1 person to stand as a Shining Light among the Darkness... =)

YOU ROCK DAD!!!

Lately

2010-02-09T20:48:00.000+08:00

Lately i have been getting very Angry...
over little little things, I'll Explode!
The way i talk back can only Stir up more anger!!

Hmm... am tired of everything all over again..!
am fed up with everyone and everything...
Don't feel like talking to anyone either...
just want to be to myself with Peace & Quiet around me....

Don't want to think too much!
Don't want to speak too much!
Just want to get my things done & THAT'S IT!!!

I'm Sorry if i didn't reply to any of your messages...
I'm sorry if i don't come online often to chat with you
as i said, juz want to be to myself lately...
Not in a position where i can Help u....
The way i am now, can only hurt you....

Always ENOUGH!!

2010-01-27T18:55:00.002+08:00

I've said it b4, & i'll say it again...
I JUST LOVE THE WAY GOD WORKS IN MY LIFE!!!
& All i've got to do is SIMPLY LET GO.....

He did it in my SPM,
& HE did it again today...

as i was saying in my testimony in youth meeting...
was telling God the other day, that i might just NOT GET EMPLOYED IN Great Eastern Mall....
1. I didn't dress Formal! (was dressing more fashionable, that the interviewer had to tell me, "NEXT TIME WEAR FORMAL K... ")
2. I didn't prepare my Resume
3. I didn't photocopy my foundation results that they had to photocopy themselves!! (& it happened TWICE btw...)

hehe... yea... i know... =.=

but still GOD WORKS!!! i didn't purposely do all those stuff, its just that i didn't know... 1st time... hehe... when i came back... i looked back & saw all the mistakes i did & i actually gave up on it... told God, it didn't matter anymore!! i don't care if i didn't get the job, COZ I SCREWED UP!!! lol....

but NOPE!! HE DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!!! HE STILL WORKED!!
they called me today & said they'll offer me the job...
Temporary Clerk in Compliance Department.... ^_^
starting 2nd February...

im juz glad i get this job coz it doesn't interfere with CHURCH!!
My working hours.. Monday - Friday 8.30am - 5.30pm
Saturday 9am - 12pm

AM SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO WORK ON SUNDAY!!!!
& I WILL ALSO BE BACK 4 YOUTH MEETING ON FRIDAY ON TIME.... YAY!!!

My sis was saying... U didn't even do much & u get the job...?? lol....
yeap...

Praise God....
i obtained Good results in SPM b'coz of HIM
i obtained Great results in Foundation b'coz of HIM
& now, i obtained this job b'coz of HIM.... ^_^

Letting go of my dreams

2010-01-24T23:47:00.000+08:00

One of my Dream which has been closest to my heart ever since i was young...
is to Go to BCM, to graduate there & become a Pastor...
well, today i learned!!! JUZ TO LET GO!!!

STILL DUNNO WHETHER IM CALLED TO BE ONE!!
but 1 thing was made clear today... that God really do wants me to work in the field of COUNSELLING!!
so yea... so far im on the right path... but where im suppose to go or whom im suppose to be in the future...
I SIMPLY WILL KNOW, ONLY IF I LET GO!!!

1 of the promises of God... 'If we DESIRE to walk according to God's will, God will make sure that we are doing so!! He will make sure to bring us back on the right path even if we are on the wrong path'

if im called to go to BCM, that will be GREAT!! my dream ever since i was a little girl has COME TRUE!!
but if im not chosen to serve God in this ministry!! well, FINE!! OKEY!! God's ways are beyond my thought!!

My dream is BIG!! But if this is not He's plan 4 me,
Then He simply has something BIGGER planned out for me!!

i remembered all those time, juz the thought that if i can't become a pastor!! TEARS WILL STREAM DOWN MY CHEEK!!!

but now... yea... I HAVE TO!!!

THE SECRET TO LIFE, IS LETTING GO!!
LETTING GO TO THE PERSON WHOM MAKES ALL THINGS TO WORK OUT WELL...

I HAVE TO!!
I SIMPLY HAVE TO LET GO!!!!

Faith is believing in God, even when we have many unanswered question...
& seeing He's Children having Faith in HIM, makes HIM happy...
It puts a smile on God's face...

i guess i just want to see God smiling & be proud of me now...
So YES!!! HAVE FAITH MELLISSA!! HAVE FAITH!!!

My new wallpaper!!!

2010-01-23T14:18:00.003+08:00

Was bored the other day.. So was just thinking bout THE EAGLE...

Was exploring the net 4 some cool pictures of eagles...

& this one caught my attention!!

decided to make it my wallpaper in my desktop!!!

added in the Scripture & the bright shining star which represent GOD, as My source of strength to help me soar on wings like eagle.......

Pretty Cool eh....

im still overwhelmed by it.... ^_^
Love it every time i switch on my computer... :)

Boys will be boys, & girl will always be girls...

2010-01-18T23:45:00.000+08:00

Ok! gotta admit!
have been feeling down lately!

things that i have been feeding my heart with lately:-
* Love Story Book!
* Romance Movie!
* Facebook!
* Gossips!

Whatever i sow! that's what i reap rite...!!
have all this crazy idea of Having a boyfriend now...
it may be normal 4 many, but not 4 me!
i mean, i am usually a gal who rather Waits then 2 rush 2any RELATIONSHIPS! If possible, don't think about any relationship now... it can wait!

but u see!!! things i have been dwelling on lately has shown its effect on me!!

1of the fantasy's i've been having... is 4 my future guy to be my gud friend NOW!! Bring him to youth meetings & get to know him even now...

well yes... so.. had been talking to Two Of my guy frenz regarding tiz matter!!
guy no.1 said... Well yes, u have a hard heart for God! May be difficult but juz wait, God will show u ur guy!!
guy no.2 said... Lame!! Don't WASTE YOUR TIME on Love right now.. Your real love will come later!!

well yeah! now as i think about it!! I MEAN I CAN'T!!! If the guy is in my church right now.. Think i will not go to church 4 the right reason anymore!!
i will loose my focus!!
will be trying harder to please my guy than my God....

well, THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!!! I can never let any1 to take God's place in my heart!!
im still young... still got lotz to learn!!! if there's a distraction b4 me, how am i going to learn...
i may simply miss whatever God WANTS TO TEACH ME!!!

haih... another thing that i have forgotten is that, i was hoping 4 a guy to come along to be on my side, to be overly protective over me!! HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT JESUS IS ALREADY THERE PROTECTING ME!! ALWAYS ON MY SIDE EVEN WHEN IM ASLEEP!! He's watching over me!!!

what more can i ask.... THE PERFECT GUY IS ALREADY BESIDE ME!!!
Haih haih... how could i have ever forgotton!! & i have let all these silly thoughts to swim around in my mind 4 two days!!! I HAVE INDEED WASTED MY TIME!!!

OK!! ENOUGH!! NO MORE!!
Listen to the Voice of TRUTH, not to the voices in ur heart!!
holding back to my principle!!

i am asked to SOAR ON WINGS LIKE EAGLE!! I'm not going to wonder around like a CHICKEN!!

& LIKE AN EAGLE SHALL I BE!!!

In the secret!

2010-01-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

Heart!

2010-01-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

I Feel it again....
MY HEART!!! *sigh*
be careful heart.! BE CAREFUL!!
Can't afford to see you hurt again...

keep your Eyes & Heart ON GOD!!
WHERE EVERYTHING MATTERS!!

Run to Him & hide under His arms where you will feel safe & loved again!!
His love is much more worth it!!!

Voice Of Truth...

2010-01-14T23:19:00.001+08:00

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

Everyday!

2010-01-12T00:04:00.002+08:00

Help me to SEE in Your Eyes
to HEAR in Your Ears
to SPEAK with Your Lips
to DO as You Do
to LIVE everyday of my life remembering that the breath that i breathe is Yours!!! & Always Yours!!!

More deeper i fall 4 u!!!

2010-01-07T14:54:00.000+08:00

The more i read the bible everyday, the more i fall 4u...
the more i talk to u, all the more i feel Ur here beside me...
the more i listen to all those songs that talk about U, the more i want to see U...

Y did i waste all of my days missing out all these wonderful feeling i have 4 u now...
Y didn't i juz start to read the bible since last year,
i would have been sooo much closer to u tiz year & could have skipped all those mistakes i've done in the past...

Y did u place us in this earth daddy,
wouldn't it have saved u all the pain if u juz didn't create us..
U could have juz created 1 Human & showed all the Love & care U've showed to us now to that 1 person...

or Y place us in this earth! u could have juz created us & keep us there with u in Heaven...
Y give us a choice daddy.. Wouldn't it be easier is u juz ask us to do something & make us do it..
U ALWAYS KNOW THE BEST!!!

Y send ur son 2000 years ago & then take Him back & make us to wait again for His return!!
Wouldn't it would have been best if U juz took us all along when u took Him...

Y place us here in this earth & make us learn & wait when u can juz give the wisdom to us now & work immediately..

Y u make urself invisible & speak in a still small voice when u can show the whole world how Big & powerful U r & when u can speak in a voice that can make the whole world tremble...

Y u want us to preach to others when U urself can make them Believe in You...
Y choose to show how powerful u are through working in our lifes when u can still show how GREAT & WONDERFUL U r juz by letting us see U...

when we see u, we can see ur glory!! if we see u, we couldn't possibly stand against u...
who can still say that u r not God after seeing u!!! but they did... 2000 years ago, when u came as son of god.. they didn't believe u!!

if i were there too, i would still not know if i would accept u or reject u... only u would have known...

so many of these question swimming in my head & thinks izzit that the best way!!!
Y go through all these trouble!!

but still again daddy, Ur ways R beyond my thoughts!!
Wat we may think is Best may turn out to be the worst!!
U know how to make all things end up Good....
U never make mistakes...

but u girl still wonders..
Y again u dun give me understanding in all this matters!!!
Speak Daddy, Ur little girl longs to hear from U!!!

ur girl wonders how would ur expression be as u read this letter!!
R u smiling ? R u crying?
Come on God, SHow Me!!!

Don't Care Anymore

2010-01-05T21:05:00.000+08:00

i don't care anymore...
not anymore bout who said what bout me
bout who thinks what of me
bout who ruins my name
bout who likes me or who don't

juz feel at the moment to be SWEEPED AWAY BY GOD!!
RIGHT NOW!!
2 be caught up on the clouds wit Him
2 Hug Him & say I'm Sorry & that I LOVE HIM!!
juz to hug Him & neva let him go... My Daddy!! My Fren!!
to be anywhere, without anyone.. juz YOU & ME God!!!

WHO AM I LORD??
JUZ A VAPOUR IN THE WIND!
JUZ A WAVE TOSSED IN THE OCEAN!

i know im not worthy enough to ask thiz things from U
so many of Your people out there, who have done SOoo much 4U
& here i am, Juz as i am... Saying I am Yours!! but have always lived my life Disappointing U more than Pleasing U

But i want u Papa... I NEED YOU!!!
I LONG TO SEE U!!!
TO HEAR U!! :'(

I Want To...

2010-01-04T20:27:00.001+08:00

I want to be a history maker in this land

I want to be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I want to stand, I want to run
Into your arms, into your arms again

NeW YEAr ReSolUtIOn!!!

2010-01-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

we were in church today till 2pm....
im so glad we started the new year being in the House Of God!! ^_^

Uncles Sassi shared today!!!
Gud Speaker!!!
He said, If u can't keep a resolution,!! then Don't make em....
he's right....

so decided to make only two tiz year!!
1. Read Bible everyday!!
2. Pray everyday for at least 5 min

God convinced me.. if u want to see Growth in ur church!! then U READ THE BIBLE EVERYDAY!!!
Changes & Growth needs to happen within us first before it happens to any1 else...

so yes!! let me Strife through my 2 resolution in year 2010

God started tiz year with a Great start!!

2 ppl accepted christ
2 new ppl from the oppp condo came to our midnight service!!

So am conviced that God is going to do great things in my church!! & i will be part of it juz by reading & praying everyday!!!

besides that, God taught me to SERVE!!! Don't act as a LEADER!! but be a GOOD SERVANT!!!

and through 3 ppl; Grace, Mei Fen, & Ps. Allan, God taught me to SERVE WIT A JOYFUL HEART!!!

i ain't doing wat im doing for any1 else but for God!!! =D

let me flow like a water cores to wherever he pleases...

Boyfriends & Jesus...

2009-12-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

i heard this over a sermon & i find it pretty cool..
He said, "women tend to have a long list of how they want their "Perfect Man" to be!
For example, Blond Hair, Blue Eyes, Muscular & stuff... with that list, if Jesus were on earth right now,
she can't Date Jesus!! & if she can't date Jesus, THAT'S BAD!!"

haha.... pondering over that, this thought came to my mind... "WOW!!! Having Jesus as my DATE!!!
OH WOW!!! a man who understands me even before there is a need for me to tell him,
a man who still loves me for the better or for the worse,
a man who will never break my heart!!
a man who will never leave me nor forsake me...
a man who will always be there waiting for me to come back home!!"

i mean, i've seen and heard of relationships that people enter in and comes out getting hurt!!
i've seen marriages ending up in divorce simply because there is misunderstanding in their relationships!!
i've also observed that people tend to wear a mask when their around people whom they love!! they are not being honest or transparent even among their own partner!!

i aint saying relationships with guys or gals on earth is ALL BAD!!!
i know that even God himself said that it is never Good for a man to be alone & so he created Woman!!

but what i can't seem to understand is that why do people are always in the rush to enter into a relationship fast, in and out and get themselves hurt!!
isn't it worth while to just WAIT!!!
I mean, how AWESOME it is to let the whole world know that u've dated no one else except "HIM (My Mr.Right)"
then the relationship is a SPECIAL ONE!!!
if i've dated so many guys, then what will make my date with Mr.Right Special?? its the same as the rest of the dates i've been having!!! isn't it..??

i dunno who came out with all the craps that if u don't date any1 so far, than ur weird & stuff... =.=
who says that ur weird just because you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend now..??
that is all a TOTAL LIE!!!

whether agree or not..
im Glad to be the one who goes AGAINST THE TIDE on this matter!!
I don't want to be something out of the ORDINARY, but wants to be something out of the EXTRAORDINARY!!!

My life path is not governed by what other people do around me,
but its govern by WWJD (What Would Jesus Do)!!!

Have a nice day people!! =)

Assuredly Yours...

2009-12-25T18:21:00.001+08:00

Assuredly Yours by Paradise Live
More Paradise Live music on iLike

All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ve found

Take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

by: Paradise Live

Christmas....

2009-12-25T02:08:00.000+08:00

well, CHRISTMAS isn't CHRISTMAS till it happen in ur heart..
hmm.... i dun have the christmas spirit this year......
macam tak ada feeling saja....

well, was in church.! & today was the last christmas together with Christabel Chi Mei Fen & the whole fly.....
haiz, after today.... i'll be going to church & the whole Chi family will simply won't be there...

7 of years being together, & now we had to go our separate ways!!! On Christmas Day!!! Wat a Gift.... :-/

From UTAR to HELP to UM

2009-12-24T13:48:00.002+08:00

haha...........
when i told God, that im going to HELP..
it was like a voice telling me that i needed to be in UM (University Malaya)

I told God then, if He wants me to be there, MAKE A WAY!!!
coz im already in Foundation Programme....

im still amazed the way God works....
i mean whether i'll get accepted in UM is another matter...
but i mean... HE MADE A WAY THAT NOW FOUNDATION STUDENTS TOO CAN ENTER INTO PUBLIC UNIVERSITY...

here is how it began...
my church member's cousin was the one who came to my house & said that i can apply for that uni
coz she was a former student there... & now she's helping others to get in coz she has a few contacts that can help me....

then she called Mr. Maha (Head Of National Higher Education Bureau MIC) in front of me..
he asked for my CGPA & when she said wat it was, He juz said, "YUP! ask her to apply!!!"
then that sister said, because my CGPA is high, i shouldn't have any problem in getting in....

haha....
COOL RIGHT!!!!
i mean, i didn't even know that foundation student can enter into Public Uni's in the 1st place...
on top of that, that sister said, if u apply & u didn't get it, Contact me!!! i can Make Sure u get!!!! hahaha
Oh Boy!!!! Im Still Overwhelmed!!!!

and for the past few weeks i was thinking bout how on earth am i going to finish paying the PTPTN LOAN if i enter into HELP coz the fees is so high.... & continue on going into BCM... I'll be a debtor even b4 i graduate.... i was complaining to God..... haha...

& wah lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!

If im accepted in UM, then almost quarter of the fees will be paid by the government & furthermore, the fees is not that high too...

i need to apply in February, & their intake is in July, so till then, i think i'll work 1st.... better to work then to just stay at home doing nothing....

i'll only know if i got accepted in UM in june, so till then...
i'll just save the money for BCM..... haha.........

the bible says,

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares theLORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future

i do have a plan of my own & still do....

but i am ready to flow where ever God lead me to

coz He's ways are beyond my thoughts...

and He always does what's BEST 4 ME...

Today was a great day...

2009-12-22T21:07:00.000+08:00

well.... i organized a children christmas party today...
was cutting some stuffs & also practicing my guitar till 3 am in the morning...

but it was all worth it...

40 children came!!
8 Youths & 8 Adults came to assist...

this year, the children was very WILD!!! that i can tell... haha...
they were so super HYPER that it was so difficult to get them to STOP TALKING!!
I literally had to threaten them with gifts to make them keep quiet...

but yea... THANK GOD!!! When i've realized that it was difficult to control them, I PRAY 2 GOD 4 WISDOM!!!
thats when the idea came... haha... and OH WELL!!! IT WORKED!!! Praise God.. =D

Facing the Giant...

2009-12-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

watched the movie "Facing the Giant" today in church
some of the things that really caught my attention :
-----------------------------------------------------------------
God said 365 times do not fear in different occasions..
if God had said that many times, u know how important it is...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of life is letting go
the secret of love is letting it show
in all that i do
in all that i say
right here in this moment

the power of prayer is a humble cry
the power of change is in giving my life
and weighing it down, down at your feet
right here in this moment
take my heart
take my soul
and all that is within me
i lift up to You & say
I'm your & Yours alone COMPLETELY

the struggle of life is the search for truth
the journey of faith is following You
every step of the Day, The Joy & The Pain
right here in this moment
take it all..
-------------------------------------------------
only God can open the doors that are shut
& only God can shut the door that is opened
------------------------------------------------

all that needs to be done is DO MY BEST
& LEAVE THE REST TO GOD... =D

Trust God...

2009-12-10T09:38:00.000+08:00

Click Picture to Enlarge...

Psalm 91..

2009-12-08T20:20:00.003+08:00

one of my favorite psalm besides Psalm 23 ^^
after my previous post, i've decided to go & read the bible...
was feeling very guilty that i will only run back to God when i needed Him 4something...
& now that exam's near... haiz...
anyways...
was reading it & some of the verses that caught my attention...
1."He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High;
will rest in the shadow of the almighty "

3."SURELY he will save you from the fowler's snare
& from the deadly pestilence."
4."He will cover you with His feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be Your shield & rampart."
**thinking back i'de realized how foolish i've been..
i had this fear a few weeks back.. That something bad was going to happen to me. bad as in i was going to get kidnapped & raped..!
& that God was going to allow it to happen to draw me back to him.. I even had tiz strange dream
SILLY RIGHT!!!! I KNOW!!!!!!(Didn't even realized it till i had a talk with Ps.Andy. )
reading that psalm reminded me of God's promise to me... That he will SURELY NOT LET NO HARM BEFALL ME... =)
besides that..
14."BECAUSE HE LOVES ME says the Lord, I will rescue him;
i will protect him, for he acknowledges my name."
15."He will call upon me, & i will answer Him;
I will be with Him in trouble,
i will deliver him & honor him.
**that two verses reminded me that no matter how i have been b4,
Still call upon the name of the Lord, & He will come & help me...
i'd tried.. haha.. it worked!!! wat took me 3-5 hours to finish 1 chapter now only took 1 hour... =D
hehe.... Thank God 4 Helping me through...
reminds me Of this saying..

"When we are not Faithful to God, God is still Faithful;
& When we are Faithful to God, God will be More than Faithful..."

Let us not boast in anything but boast in Jesus Christ...
I AM SO PROUD TO CALL HIM MY FATHER... ^_^

Dear God..

2009-12-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

Don't give me too much that i may forget u..
Don't give me too little that i may despise u
Please give me juz enough that i will always depend on u..

Think i am straying away... Draw me back to u...

Don't walk in front of me that i may be left behind...
don't walk behind me that i may walk ahead of u leaving u behind...
but dear pa, walk beside me that i may walk through the journey of life together with u...

Don't want to be a hypocrite or a pagan...
juz want to be ur child that pleases u...
Don't want to live my life pleasing men
juz want to live my life pleasing u...

Reading the bible everyday ain't easy for me...
can u do something about it...
what will make me to read it without failing...

i am aware that im drawing away from u further & further everyday as i don't read it...
Y am i so insensitive to the Holy Spirit's voice...
think i don't have the "Fear of God" in my life...

Do something Daddy...
Do something Mellissa...
MAKE A MOVE!!!

Things on my mind lately...

2009-12-02T18:05:00.000+08:00

sigh... things on my mind lately...

Children church (Christmas party!! )
HELP (new place again... will i make new frenz?? need to apply for the next intake.. will i make it on time)
Final Exam (Psychology!! many things to memorize)
Youth Meetings
Jian Loong (they leaying to australia, won't be around for christmas.. Won't be fun... *sigh*)
Alfred (songleading wit him soon... all CHRISTMAS SONGS!!! =.= y can't it be normal songs...)
Mei Fen & fly(They gonna leave soon... Last month together wit her)
Santa Clause (who's going to be the santa clause for children party..)
Blogs.. (4 blogs to manage... what to write or update)
Guitar (i can't play any Christmas songs!!!)
My Spiritual Life.. (still struggling to read bible EVERYDAY)

** Well that's just me trying to express it all out so won't EXPLODE again...

i am 18 years old going on 19 next month...
alot of things in my mind!! alot of things in my hand...
alot of things i need to take in charge...
alot of things i need to get it done...

i am one person, can't do it all on my own...
but know God is still in charge over what i need to do...
i still know that in whatever i do,
I AINT GOING TO LET IT STEAL MY JOY AWAY IN DOING IT 4 GOD!!!

whateva we do, we need to do it 4 God... & we'll see how mightily God works..... =D
many things are waiting for me Ahead in my Life... Can't wait to see all the wonders & miracles that is about to happen...

It was a meeting worth going....

2009-11-18T10:57:00.001+08:00

Last saturday i went to Local Youth Prayer Gathering (LYPG) Meeting in FGA Selayang...
to be honest, didn't feel like going at first.. tought wanted to just stay home & rest since i was not feeling that well...

but then my Youth Leader was a little dissapointed of having to go there alone.. hehe... so yeah... dicided to accompany him.. What is a Assistant Youth Leader if im not there for him right,... lol..

And Gosh...! what a meeting it turned out to be... the speaker asked all those who have a burden in their hearts NOW! to come to the center of the circle... & YES I went in too... didn't know what was that weird feeling i was having in my heart but wasn't trying to figure it out... juz stepped out in faith beliving it was the Holy Spirit's work...

the moment i went to the center... Tears began to flow down my cheeks... Didn't know y i was crying either... Began to speak in tongue, & then my body began to shake Vibrantly... I couldn't control it as usual... so juz continues to speak in tongue... MY Sis Michelle came by my side to hold on to me...

the Entire time every1 was CRYING SCREAMING & PRAYING.... the term used here is "TRAVAILING"(at least that's what the speaker said)

haha... i had a fun time & was so gald i decided to go for that meeting, eventhough my Body ached for the next two days... haha..... See how Pysicaly Fit i am... =D haha...
but yup yup... am so glad i went, if not i would have missed it!!!

Dear Mellissa...

2009-11-17T02:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when u want to do something for God...

It means u'll have to go against the tide..

U'll have to do things that other people wouldn't want to do...

It means flowing or swimming totally in a different direction others r swimming

It means doing somethings u might not be comfortable with...

U may be quiet, but sometimes u'll have to Speak Up 4 God... U R His Voice!
U may be small, but sometimes u'll have to Act Big... A Great & Big God is Living inside if u!
U may be comfortable in where u are, but sometimes u'll have to Come Out Of Your Comfort Zone... u'll need to find where God wants u to be!
U may be happy with what ur doing, but sometimes u just have to Stop, Seek & Find what God wants u to do... U'll be even more happier & be amazed how God works through ya!

Dear gal,

there are many things that this world have, & can offer you,

Wealth... Love... Entertainment...

but none of it will last...

none of it can grant u the satisfaction that u are longing for...

u need to get Ur Priorities Straight, Ur Standards Up & Hold on to it...

No Worries.........

Ur not on this alone.... :)

what a short little prayer can do....

2009-11-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

This morning as i was on my way to college,
i remembered saying tiz short prayer without any wants or purpose in mind..
i said, "Lord, let this day bring Glory & Honor 2Ur name..."

my 1st class...: Psychology Tutorial.. Received my midterm marks... 39/40..(not bad eh, but for this subject i expected to score full mark.. Psychology is my subject ma... have to score full... nevertheless, Still praise God.)

Next was Maths for Business & Social Science ... din't expect 2get the marks so fast since we only sat for the paper yesterday.... & my Marks... 40/40... haha.... can believe it..?? the subject i feared the most & the one that inflicts the most stress, & it turns out to be the one where i can score the PERFECT SCORE!!!

haha... God is great & He works in Awesome ways...
He sometimes choose to make things work differently 4us, Juz to show us that God is in control...
& we are to live our lives dependent on Him....

Besides, God's ways are BEYOND our THOUGHTS!!!
it feels good to see how God works in my life.. =D

Dear Abba...

2009-11-10T03:37:00.000+08:00

I wanna Sit at Your Feet
Drink from the cup in Your Hand
Lay Back against You & Breath...
Feel Your Heartbeat...

This Love is so deep..
It's More than i can stand...
I'll melt in your Peace
It's overwhelming...

how much i want to Papa.....

Talked enough. time 2 STOP & LISTEN

2009-11-08T09:42:00.001+08:00

Remember i said i didn't want to tak to any1, juz wanna be to myself...
well. I FAILED!!!
I conveyed my thoughts & how i felt 2 my mum, & ended up me EXPLODING 2 her...
and as a result, it made me cry the whole day, Morning, Afternoon, & Night
the issue just went on & on without any fullstop or solution..

i shouldn't have told her my feelings...
should have kept it all in my heart like i use to ever since i was a little gal....
should have juz depended on God to solve tiz problem like i use to ever since i was young...
should have juz controlled it...

wat is done is done!!

people say HURT IS NOT FROM GOD!!
well, THEY ARE WRONG...!!! from hurt, COMES HEALING!!!
now,
JUST HAVE TO BE STILL & KNOW, THAT GOD IS IN TIZ PLACE

2 LET ME STAY AT REST IN HIS HOLINESS...

TO KNOW THAT HE IS MY GOD OF COMFORT....

Tired of it all....

2009-11-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

that's how i feel at the moment....
am fed up wit everything....
Tired of getting blame 4 everything...
Tired of listening to every1...
Tired of living to other people's expectations...
Tired of taking concern too much on what other people thinks..
Tired of Fighting & Arguing
Tired of that Maths that i have to learn that is inflicting a lot of stress

Feel like just doing what i want....
to stop hearing every1 talk...
to stop listening to them & to stop talking to them either...

Feel like want to just drive away somewhere & just keep on going...
Feel like going to a place where no one will be around; where there will only be PEACE & QUIET!!!

**Mellissa Lina is tired of everything at the moment, knows that when she talks about it, she will EXPLODE!!!

Did i tell u....

2009-11-05T19:33:00.001+08:00

haha...
Thursday Morning, around 7.30am, i was waiting 4 my dad Opposite Collusium;for him to send me to UTAR...
as i was waiting there alone, thiz guy with Long, Gray Curly Hair was walking towards me...

u know me, i'll always guard my bag & stay alert if any1 passes by...
as i was juz standing there, thiz PSYCHO GUY came near me, lifted up his hand, almost wanted to punch me...
Oh Man!!! His hand was so close to my face man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but then he STOPPED!!
TURNED !!
Continued Walking &Talking to himself again....

I tell U, MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT A MOMENT....1st time such encounter...
Dunno wat Triggered Him to want to come & punch me... & dunno wat made him to stop punching me either...

maybe like wat Alison said,
MAYBE HE SAW AN ANGEL STANDING BESIDE ME
Or maybe, HE SAW JESUS hIMSELF STANDING IN FRONT OF ME & WARNING HIM TO STAY AWAY....!!! haha.... :D

but seriously, which crazy guy will come all the way to punch but don't punch... IT WAS GOD'S PROTECTION INDEED....

wat a coincidence right, School Leaver Service (SLS) was going to take place that day too... PHEW... Thank God Thank God....

Indeed God will prepare a table b4 me,
In the presence of my enemies.... - Psalm 23
He will never Leave me nor FORSAKE me... - Joshua 1:5

it was my 1st encounter wit a CRAZY GUY, i will be meeting more in the future soon.... haha... No regret taking up PSYCHOLOGY.... haha

It was Cool...

2009-11-01T19:03:00.000+08:00

Recently went to an Awesome Camp...
it was a sleepover in my X-School, St.Mary... Went there with my X-Secretary of CF...hehe
we went there at 11pm Friday Night, & came back at 10am the next day....
were there from 11am till 4am Fasting & Praying none stop for School Leaver Service (SLS)

IT WAS AN AWESOME EXPERIENCE
Student were prophesying to other students...
it was cool...

the conditions placed b4 we prophecy was that it should be

Encouraging
Exalting
Comforting

i tried too... & man it was cool! My 1st experience like such...

i received 3 Encouragement from other 3 students too...

felt so Happy after what i've heard....

All in all, it was an Awesome & Memorable Sleep over...
Were Glad i decided to go.... =)

Dear Abba...

2009-10-25T23:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Abba....

Ku Mau Cinta U Selamanya....
Don't Give Up on me...
I can be a very naughty girl sometimes...
but still a girl who loves you with all my Heart...

looking forward so much to the day where i can meet u face to face...
waiting for the day i'll be broken & be equipped to do the things you have prepared me 4...

i may not be like other people,
not as good as others are,
not as big as them...

but Here I Am...
Everything I am i give it to you....

Take me, Break me, Mould me, Use me...

Dad... hope... i ain't juz an empty vessel that makes the most noise...
saying would do this & that for you but ends up not doing...

Help me to Hold on to wat i say..
i ain't a Hypocrite or a Pagan...
i am Your Daughter...

Time 2 Testify... =D

2009-10-09T09:45:00.001+08:00

My 2nd Semester Examination Result was released yesterday...
my result, with a GPA of 3.66, CGPA of 3.69... =D

2 be honest, i was a little disappointed at 1st, but then realized & came to my sense again... haha..
it's not bad!!

God never failed to show me His Unfailing Favour & Mercy on me....
without Him, i wouldn't have gotten even that.... haha...
yup yup... Praise God indeed...

Praise God 4 answering my prayer...
Praise God 4 giving me GREAT RESULTS...
Praise God 4 being ever so faithful even when sometimes i fail...

I serve a God who is Almighty, Faithful & Loving...
Let the Heaven's rejoice & the Earth be glad....=D

Word Of God Speak...

2009-10-06T03:36:00.003+08:00

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay...

Ashame of my reactions...

2009-10-05T23:19:00.001+08:00

In my previous post, i said i was scared 2 death...
What could i have done
i am too small
i couldn't have overcome any1.
i was trembling with fear
my hands & legs were shivering...

Pondering over it, it shows how foolish i have reacted..
at that brief moment,
-I have forgotten that i serve a GREAT & MIGHTY GOD...
- I have forgotten that the One Who is GREATER than the one who is in the world is LIVING INSIDE OF ME
-I have forgotten that God will NEVER LEAVE ME nor FORSAKE ME...
-I have forgotten that God is always there 2 RESCUE ME from whatever i was going through...

i was so foolish to let MY OWN FEAR TO OVERWHELM ME...

Haih... Wondering How God would have felt at that moment, when i have totally forgotten about HIM BEING BY MY SIDE!!!!!

There's an experience i won't 4get... i was scared to death... =.=

2009-10-05T13:05:00.000+08:00

u'll think im crazy, but it actually did happened...
i ate my breakfast, came inside my bro's room & closed the door...
as soon as i did, 5 seconds later, a big BANG!!!! I heard it!!!!!!
at MY door!!!!! the door i just closed!!!!!!!

i quickly LOCKED IT & STOOD behind it!!!
my legs & hand started to SHIVER....!!

my grandma was sleeping in the other room, & another was sitting in the living room...

worst still, then i heard FAST FOOTSTEPS.... It sounded like many was walking in my living room...
impossible, my grandma can walk that fast.......... =.=

can u imagine how scared i would have felt..!! only 3 of us were in the house...
usually we would not lock our gates... we live all the way on the 14th floor in our condo... who would come all the way up here we thought..

i climbed up my bed... sent an online instant message to ALFRED... He was the only one online
i picked up my handphone, wanting to call my mum... my hand was shivering i tell you... was never scared like this b4........

im a girl, a small girl, i can never overcome any1...what can i do....????

i sat on the bed, started praying... asking God to protect the 3 of us, sending His warrior angels to come & guard us...

my mum called the security guards downstairs from her office...
2 of them came up, n checked on us... i never left the room the entire time... my grandma went and opened the door...

i looked down through the opening below the door... no footsteps, so then i left the room 2 check... GOSH!!!!!!!!! WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THIS HAS 2 HAPPEN WHEN I FINALLY BEGAN 2 FAST AGAIN.....
my dad asks if im OKEY!!!! =.=

it was not like i was making all this up!!!!!!

I SERIOUSLY HEARD A BIG BANG AT MY DOOR!!! IM NOT KIDDING!!!!
ITS IMPOSSIBLE A WIND CAN HIT A DOOR LIKE THAT!!!!
It wasn't my grandma, She was scolding me 4 scaring her while she was sleeping....
THEN WHO WAS IT!!!!!

no, there's no ghost in my house, if that's what u guys are thinking....
but yes.....didn't expect all these to happen during the time of MY FASTING!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me flow like the river does 2 wherever He leads...

2009-10-01T10:04:00.000+08:00

it juz donged on me...
i actually don't know what's my passion is....

Sis Penny (My church's pastor's wife) was asking my sister what is her passion..
& she said, she has a passion 4 young people.... she wants to learn up all she can & reach out to young people.. =)

then she asked me... What's My Passion... Do You have burden 4 anything or anyone...
then i said.... NO!! all i know is i want to do something 4 God...

-- Now i Wonder--
so where am i heading to...?
i've seen many young people have such burning desire in them ...
another person i know of is CHI MEI FEN.. another person who has this FIRE to save as many souls as possible....

but to be honest... I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DESIRE 2 REACH OUT!!! : [
ALL I KNOW, IS WANT 2 DO SOMETHING 4 GOD!!!

Gosh....
need to find my purpose in life soon...
coz i'm not getting any younger...

i keep on telling God let me move faster...
i want 2 be on the GO 4 Him when im still young where i can give alot of my strength
if im older, my strength is limited...
need to give my all 2 Him

i don't want to be of those who regret later in d future about Can't Do More 4 God
i want to do all i can 4 God now while i still can....

but do what!!
what is my call!!

a scripture that comes to my mind at the moment :

He directs the heart of the Kings like a water cores wherever He pleases... =)

Psalm 61

2009-09-26T23:27:00.004+08:00

Was doing my devotion...

& i asked God this question...

Have i hurt God b4 2 the extend that i made Him cry..?

as i ask, tears began to flow down...

yea, i think... i had done alot of things would hv disappointed Him...

but that doesn't make Him to love me less...

His the only 1 in existence that will ever love me the way He does...

& now, i hv this thought...

2 be like DAVID... A Man After God's own heart...

tiz chapter touched me 2day... juz wanna share it with u guys... :)

Hear my cry, O God;

listen to my prayer.

From the ends of the earth i call to You,

I call as my heart grows faint;

lead me to the rock that is higher

than I

For you have been me refuge,

a strong tower against the foe.

i long to dwell in Your tent forever

and take refuge in the shelter of Your wings

For you have heard my vows, O God;

You have given me the heritage of

those who fear You name

Increase the days of the king's life,

his years for many generations

may he be enthroned in God's presence forever;

appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him

then will i ever sing praise to Your name

and fulfill my vows day after day.

R U Trying 2 say something God....??

2009-09-26T13:53:00.004+08:00

well, exams over....

was looking forward so much to go to a YOUTH PRAYER MEETING in FGA SELAYANG tiz saturday... but unfortunatly it was postponed to NEXT SATURDAY!!!

but it doesn't matter...

doesn't hv much impact on me... COZ IM ON BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe... ^_^ I've got 3 weeks with no special programmes... besides the thought to go & stay in my teacher's hse for a week....i've even asked her permission ady... hehe... but see how 1st,...

i'd wash all my new clothes... (yup hand-washed it all, hehe... gud gal mell... =b)

but now... my palm's skin is all peeling off ... hmm... i've never had tiz problem b4...

i mean i've washed my clothes using my hand so many times b4...

& i' have tiz big pimples on my face now.... that too never happened b4... not that big ones... =.=

WELL... SO R U TRYING TO TELL SOMETHING GOD!!!!

AM I MISSING SOMETHING!!!!

HMM.......................

EXAMS.......

2009-09-21T00:38:00.002+08:00

4 Exams down.... 2 more to go....

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

THEN, A HOLIDAY FOR A WHOLE 3 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

need to take God 4 helping me through the 4 papers that i sat b4....

dunno whether i can do better then the last semester result...

BUT THIS TIME, IM AIMING HIGH..............

COZ I SERVE A BIG GOD...............

im juz keeping my heads up high, & will juz continue to walk on water....

watever happen, whether GOOD or BAD....

ALL PRAISE & GLORY STILL BELONGS TO MY GOD................ :)

Gonna Strike 12 Midnight....

2009-09-09T23:47:00.002+08:00

3 days hv gone by...

& wat hv i done...

hehe...

oni completed studying SOCIOLOGY!!!!!!!!

& juz started on management today.... =.=

am waiting to watch The Nanny.... So Lame Man.... Exams next week!!!

& i've still got the time to watch movies.... wat to do.... Hvn't Changed to the STUDYING MODE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

hehe...

had a LLOOOOOOOoooooooooooNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnGGGGGGgggggggggg Chat wif Alison Wok..........

haha

who cares bout exams.... take a break.... not that i hvn't had enough.... But its OK......!!!!!!! hehe

NOT IN THE MOOD 2 STUDY ANYWAYS.....

BUT AM GOING 2 STAY UP LATE TODAY!!!! Got 2 more Chapters to memorize....=.=

But Will Do So.... RIGHT AFTER I WATCH "THE NANNY",......... :D

HAKKUNA MATATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

I know I know........... BAD MELLISSA BAD MELLISSA... :D

Friends........ =)

2009-09-05T11:46:00.005+08:00

Remember i will always use the term "MY GROUP In UTAR," everytime i have somethings to share bout anything in college....

Yup!!! THERE THEY R!!!!!!!!!! ALL 8 OF US.........

(this picture i copy from Asako's Blog, or wat i like to call her, ASOKA... lol.... no picasa software to photo edit ma...

so no choice but to curi.... hehe)

sit anywhere oso sit together, sometimes wear clothes oso wear same colour together, go anywhere oso go together wan... yup... even to toilet....lol

our second semester had come to an end.. now everyone has 1 week gap to study hard & score well......... gonna miss all of them for a week... lol... but we will meet again, to face our worst nightmare(EXAMS) together soon...

but ITS COOL.... THE NEXT SEMESTER would not be like tiz semester where in some classes we're separated... tiz time we made sure, every1 signed up 4 the same class at the same time... lol...

so its another 3months together, b4 every1 really get separated.... haih

Today, Im Encouraged.... ^_^

2009-08-31T22:50:00.002+08:00

i've received an offer today.... by my teacher... :)

know wat....

she invited me to join her 4 a mission trip...

all the way in JAKARTA.... From 22-27 September 2009... =)

NOT ONLY THAT...

but ... ITS EXPENSES FREE... as in she said, she'll pay for all my expenses, as long as i can get my passport....

HOW COOL IS THAT!!!!!!!!

can u imagine, i was called 4 a mission trip, and i need not to pay a single thing...

BUT UNFORTUNATELY....

THERE's 2 OBSTACLES....

1. my exams till 24th September...

2.my mum said NO!

so there it goes.... as much as i Love to go, But i can't...

so i guess, its not God's will 4 me to go yet....

but its ok.... I WAS ENCOURAGED!

KNOW Y!!!

coz im 18 years old now, & im getting offers to go 4 mission trip FOC....

& therfore, i can't wait & is excited to c how God's going to provide & make way 4 me to go 4 many more mission trip in the future... ;)

MY TIME 2GO 4 MISSION TRIPS WILL COME, & GOD WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN SUPERNATURALLY!!!!!